In which the gilded wings of eternity brush the icy steel wheels of time

by Craig on September 19, 2011

gitzngirl-Sara-Frankle-choose-joy-choosejoysource

I listen to Sara’s songs…
especially Breath of Heaven (here she sings)…
knowing she stands on the precipice…
the gate between this life…
and eternity…
the eternity we talk about…
but never think about…
never really think about…

These songs…
sung by Sara…
golden child now brushed by gilded wings…
they now hold a universe of new meaning.

I take the words and change “I and me” with “her and she” and I sing it along with her – as a prayer…

In the world as cold as stone
must she walk this path alone?

gitzngirl-Sara Frankle-choose joy-choosejoysource

Be with her now.
Be with her now.

Breath of heaven,
hold her together,
be forever near her,
lighten her darkness,
pour over her your holiness,
for you are holy.

Does she wonder as you watch her face,
If a wiser one should have had her place?
but she offers all she is
for the mercy of your plan
help her be strong

gitzngirl-Sara Frankle-choose joy-choosejoysource

help her be

help her

It’s 5:18 AM now. The area around my eyelashes, top and bottom, have not been dry but for a few waking hours since last Wednesday. My mind leans heavy on the thought of eternity touching time.

The flow of tears is steady until…

I realize I’m thinking too much about me.
And I’m embarrassed by how self-centered and selfish I am.

This isn’t about me.
It’s about Sara.
It’s about God.

It’s about praying the same prayer again and again for Sara…
for courage…
and faith…
and peace…
and for Sara to know she has made a difference.

And then there are more tears – but more noble ones.

And I know that to pray now is to pray for Sara.
I know I should pray for her loved ones more…
but right now it’s  Sara…
later for them.

And through the tears comes thought…
if there is no God none of this matters.
If there is no God nothing matters…

… neither Sara’s life, or my life, or yours, or wars, or peace, or poverty, or riches, or kindness or cruelty, or tsunamis or earthquakes, or sadness, or happiness, or love. If there is no God, then not a single thing that we will ever know or experience, not a single thing that anyone has known or experienced, amounts to a grain of sand an on an infinity sized beach.

If there is no God then life is only what Macbeth pours out near the end of Shakespeare’s play:

Out, out, brief candle!
Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more; it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.

Please forgive me for these next harsh. but true, words.

If there is no God, placing a baby in a fire is the same as saving a baby from one.

If there is no God it doesn’t matter if I live a thousand years or step in front of a bus today.

But there is a difference.

God exists, he loves, and he knows not only sparrows…

gitzngirl-Sara Frankle-choose joy-choosejoy

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this candle that flickers…

and goes out…

will only burn brighter still.

Because there is heaven…

and there is God…

and Sara, right now…

is going home to him.

Gilded wings of eternity brush the cold steel wheels of time.

{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }

A. September 19, 2011 at 9:27 am

Craig, what you have written about life, and its lack of value and meaning if there is no God is profoundly true. It can sound so harsh, but it is nevertheless true. I have friends, people I know, who toy with the idea of God, valuing more the writings of atheists, agnostics, even, and I do not know how they find the energy to face another day. It is difficult enough when one is surrounded by abuse, how does one do it with no eternity in their vision?

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Craig September 19, 2011 at 5:31 pm

A. The logical end of the notion that there is no God is an impossibly sad one. Nothing. Matters. I think people with no God – just choose something else – and substitute it for God. It fills the void – but always leaves a void – and in the end – well that’s really sad – it’s like the rent comes due on the rent-free apartment – and there’s no cash to pay. Thankful that you and I both have the rent paid. God bless you A.

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Victoria September 19, 2011 at 10:07 am

I prayed the Breath of Heaven song over her too, Craig.

This was a profound post…the baby in the fire was so true…I had never thought of it like that before.

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Craig September 19, 2011 at 5:34 pm

Victoria, isn’t that powerful as a prayer! I almost didn’t want to use the baby example – but it is the logical end of the idea that there is no God – nothing matters – everything is the same – there is no reason to exist. How sad. Nobody ever really carries it through to the logical end – that notion. Thankfully. Because as long as there is life there is a chance at life AFTER life. It’s so much easier to say goodbye to someone when you know where they’re going – and they’ll be safe – and you’ll see them again.

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Martha Orlando September 19, 2011 at 12:41 pm

Sara’s voice is ethereal . . . beautiful song, beautiful prayer, beautiful post for a most special woman.

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Craig September 19, 2011 at 5:35 pm

her voice was a surprise to so many people. And yes, she is a most, most special woman. God bless you Martha!!

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Cora September 19, 2011 at 3:02 pm

I could hardly get through this post today. It has not been that long since my brother walked the road that Sara is walking, and I find a fresh well of tears as I read. No doubts. . . . . there IS a Heaven and there IS a God and we WILL all see Sara (and each other) so very soon!

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Craig September 19, 2011 at 5:37 pm

Cora, I could hardly get through it too – the writing of it. And thankful with you that there is no beginning after the end – just a continuation. God bless you Cora!

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Dawn September 19, 2011 at 8:30 pm

Dear Craig,

I’ve read everybody and I am here, but I have nothing to say. All this takes me back to Keith Green (and his children). I still get misty-eyed and it will be 30 years ago this July. Sara will be missed till heaven reunites us.

On the black keys,
Dawn

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Craig September 20, 2011 at 12:45 pm

nothing much to say either, Dawn, just what you wrote, “on the black keys”. God bless you Dawn!

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Debbie September 19, 2011 at 11:10 pm

Thank you for sharing Sara’s song and it as a prayer! And also how it all does matter and having meaning because of God. You have been such a comfort and safe haven as we pray together for her. God bless you and your special place in His heart!

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Craig September 20, 2011 at 12:47 pm

Debbie, I sing it many times a day, as a prayer to our Lord, for Sara. And I am so, so, so glad that things matter, because there IS God, and he”s the God we worship and love. And great – fine – now the tears are back – nice job Debbie ツ God bless you!

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Michelle September 20, 2011 at 6:44 am

“If there is no God it doesn’t matter if….” So true.

“But there is a difference.
God exists, he loves, and he knows not only sparrows…”

I’m sorry for appearing silent lately. Your posts have been rather poignant as I have been walking with a friend whose (97yo) father was dying. He passed into glory in the early hours of Monday morning (my time) being held by my friend (which she considers a beautiful privilege), being told how much she and the family loved him, and knowing he was going ‘home’ to be with his wife and God. So you can probably understand why I have had no words. I am appreciating your words, and echoing the many prayers for Sara.

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Craig September 20, 2011 at 12:50 pm

that. Is. Beautiful. Thank you for commenting – even going through what you have. And thank you for praying for Sara, thank you, and God bless you Michelle.

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