In which there are whispered thank you’s to God (#563…

by Craig on September 26, 2011

gitzngirl-Sara Frankle-choose joy-choosejoy-death-dying-heavensource

So how do I say thank you now?
There’s nothing in me.
For weeks I have been lost in Sara going home.
And now…

It’s this “year of connect”, named so because of Ann. My heart has connected, and sometimes I can’t control how deeply it connects. I’m still learning how to steer the heart – I haven’t yet learned how to stop it.

So, here is Monday…
and it’s for thank you’s…
and my heart is heart is nothing…
ashes…
darkness…
and my body follows the heart…
and my mind….
I have nothing left.

I’m sure God will teach me through this. He always does.

So I pray, and I search for thank yous…

and in the darkness I trip my way over a few…

#563… that Sara is not “resting in peace”. I’m guessing Sara’s in plenty of peace, but not resting at all. I suspect a whirlwind of activity. There must be countless possibilities to explore, and the ability to love perfectly, and mysteries unraveling that we haven’t even thought of.

gitzngirl-Sara Frankle-choose joy-choosejoy-death-dying-heavensource

#564… that I’m sure Sara received a loving and gracious, “Well done my good and faithful servant.”  (MT 25:16-30)

#565… that I can see her among the “cloud of witnesses” who appreciate her valiant fight, and her faith. (Heb 12:1)

#566… that she no longer needs that faith, because her faith has become sight, and she knows as she has been known. (1Cor 13:12)

#567… that with no faith needed, any shadow of doubt is vanquished.

#568… that Sara is not here. But Sara is. Sara. Is. And as I type that, I hear the first bird call of the morning. Strange, that they’ve been so silent until now. And one is joined by two, joined by three, and the predawn fog begins to lift.

#569… that I can close my eyes and I see a Sara smiling broadly, meeting Jesus. understanding the mystery of Trinity like no one on this earth ever could, and flitting about and loving perfectly.

#570… that in this broken world there is faith and doubt, imperfection and grace, brokenness and healing – but Sara has no doubt now, nor brokenness, nor imperfection.

#571… that 2000 years ago there was a Crucifixion, a death, a resurrection

gitzngirl-Sara Frankle-choose joy-choosejoy-death-dying-heavensource

… so Sara could live…and die…and live.

#572… that Sara has transformed from what we all are…
caterpillar, crawling belly on dry, rough, tree trunk…
to butterfly floating full of grace above the wind.

gitzngirl-Sara Frankle-choose joy-choosejoy-death-dying-heavensource

#573… that a smile finally breaks just after dawn, because I got to use my Sara butterfly art two weeks in a row. (((smile)))

#574… that we all live this life…
and we all will stop living this life…
and then there is more life, and bliss, and the forever presence of God.

And Sara said that choosing joy was just as easy as making a choice…
to see the grumbly possibility…
and think of the “joy” alternative…
and simply to choose that.

Now comes a time for choosing joy…

and it’s oh so hard.

Still…

I’m glad you’re home Sara.

I’m glad you’re home…

{ 26 comments… read them below or add one }

Christina September 26, 2011 at 8:28 am

Thanks for being real and sharing your heart. Your list is a beautiful reflection of honest faith. Of battling doubt and grief and grabbing onto the hope that is in Christ. It is an encouragement and reminder to me that our real hope is in eternity. “All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth. People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. Instead, they were longing for a better country—a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them.” Hebrews 11:13-16
Blessings to you, my friend!

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Craig September 26, 2011 at 1:08 pm

thank you Christina, I hearted that passage – I consider it a gift, and it made me smile. And thank you for your kind words too – they’re always kind. We are just sojourners here – this is not our home. Thank you again, and God bless you Christina.

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Eva September 26, 2011 at 9:51 am

We spend a big part of growing up learning how to love, but we don’t know how to stop …
Many people over the world thinking about Sara. Thank you for putting thoughts into words.

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Craig September 26, 2011 at 1:19 pm

Eva, I learned worldly love growing up, and I learned to practice love – real love when I met Our Lord. But really empathizing, truly feeling the feelings of another person – that has been this year – and I haven’t stopped feeling these feelings yet. It is amazing that Sara’s impact went from the middle of America to Sweden. That makes me smile. Thank you Eva.Gud välsigna du.

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Eva September 26, 2011 at 2:21 pm

Thank you for visiting “over at my space”. Your Swedish is very good! :-)
Blessings! Och må Gud hålla dig i sin hand!

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Carrie September 26, 2011 at 9:53 am

I’m so sorry that your heart is broken and heavy. And I’m sorry that I didn’t get to know Sara as you did. It is much harder to be the ones left, isn’t it? To be grieving until our bodies ache, to some days feel as if we cannot go on, the pain is too great. But through it all, He is there. He understands. He heals. I loved #568. Keep counting! And may you find peace and comfort soon.

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Craig September 26, 2011 at 1:22 pm

Carrie, thank you. My prayers now switch from Sara, because she no longer needs them, to her family. It is so hard to lose someone in your family. Especially her parents – they say, and it’s true, no parent should ever have to bury their child. And you are right, through it all, HE is there. and #568 – I think that was my favorite part of the sunrise today. God bless you Carrie, and thank you again.

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Cora September 26, 2011 at 9:54 am

Craig, this was such a comfort to me, and somehow, I just KNOW that it had to comfort YOU as wrote it. Thank you for this. I’m glad Sara is Home, too.

Christina’s verse above me —- it struck me today, and something I can take with me — something from Sara’s life: That I might live so God will not be ashamed to be called my God. Sara did that. What a goal for the rest of my life, or should I say two goals: to choose joy, and to live so He will not be ashamed of me!

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Craig September 26, 2011 at 1:23 pm

the sunrise – the sunrise comforted me a little – and the way the lessons poured out from it. And I heart Christina’s verses – made me smile. And I’ll join you in those two goals if you don’t mind. God bless you Cora!

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Kristin September 26, 2011 at 10:04 am

My heart goes out to you and all the others who will be missing Sarah. I didn’t know her but after all the reading I have done about her, going to her blog page and reading her own words, I feel I have also learned from her, and when I think more now about choosing joy, I will think of her.
I heart the fact that we know where she is and that she is whole again and that one day we will get to go home too to be with our Father.
I’m glad you are smiling again :)

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Craig September 26, 2011 at 1:26 pm

thank you Kristin. Honestly, if it were not for Ann, and naming this year “connect” this would not have hit me as hard as it did. But we connect through words. No? and it really is true – I’ve learned how to drive “connect” – but sometimes I really don’t know how to use the brakes. I’m learning. And thank you – because you probably know that the fact that you used heart as a verb made me smile. (Smile) I needed that! And it is nice to know where she! God bless you Kristin.

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GLENNA September 26, 2011 at 11:02 am

Craig,
Sorry that your heart is heavy for a loss, of Sara, whom must have been very close to you
She had recieved her freedom to Run, Dance, Sing and Praise our GOD !!!
I have said many times rest in peace , since I just read your post its gave me a new insite its peace but I am sure there are haveing a great celebration !!! as they enter the presence of GOD ~~and what a celebration that must be as the angel have to step back as they cant sing I have been redeemed

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Craig September 26, 2011 at 1:30 pm

to be honest, Glenna, this is the first time that the phrase “rest in peace” really didn’t sit well with me. I read it and I immediately don’t like it. No resting in peace – just love forever. And rest if we want to rest – because they are no tears in heaven (smile). If angels rejoice when someone commits their life to God, how much more glorious must the welcome home be? Thank you Glenna, and God bless you as always.

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Andrea Dawn September 26, 2011 at 3:39 pm

#568 . . . Sara is. This is my favourite of your thank you’s today . . . the first bird call . . . the predawn fog beginning to lift.

Sharing a verse from an old hymn . . .

Oh joy, that seekest me through pain,
I cannot close my heart to Thee;
I trace the rainbow through the rain
And feel the promise is not vain
That morn shall tearless be.

Tracing rainbows,
Andrea Dawn

(My latest post at Word Pictures is in Sara’s honour)

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Craig September 26, 2011 at 4:06 pm

Andrea Dawn, #568, I think that was my favorite moment of the sunrise. And yes – That morn shall tearless be. thank you for that. God bless you my friend.

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Nacole September 26, 2011 at 5:38 pm

hi Craig,

i hearted your list. (i used hearted just for you, to make you smile. because i thought of it, as if you were sitting right next to me, but i changed it to love, but i thought, no Craig likes heart as a verb, and today, he needs a smile and a warm feeling in his heart, so im going to say “hearted”).

just figured that little explanation would cheer you up! as i said before, Craig, i did not know Sara, so i have not felt the grief as you have–but i am sorry for the loss of your friend–as im sure so many are–she was special–i can only imagine how i would feel if something happened to you or one of my other friends i have made here.

i liked 570 and 571 the most i think–i loved the whole list, but those were my favorites. and i really like the idea that things get better in eternity–we are just passing through–this is not our home–just temporary–just orphans at the gate–waiting for our adoptive parents–if we have our eyes fixed on Jesus, all else dims in comparison–He is all we can really cling to.

blessings, friend, and a better week for you filled with joy moments.

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Craig September 26, 2011 at 6:42 pm

and yes – your use of heart as a verb DID make me smile – as did your reasoning – thank you Nacole ツ I’m beginning to understand better and better this blogging community that you and I are part of. And YOU! You better stay as healthy as possible – despite your challenges! I mean it!! You and your whole family! Understood?!

and I always had a hard time looking forward to eternity – eyes so centered on the here and now – but when the idea finally hit that nothing good is lost, only the bad – that made all the difference. And what we do here does matter – this is our life – just the very beginning part of it – but it IS our life. So we strive for perfection – and have grace for when we mess up – and oh how we mess up – at least me. Thank you Nicole – this warmed my heart. God bless you my friend.

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Nacole September 29, 2011 at 5:14 pm

im so glad it did make you smile, and the reasoning behind it–haha. i like the way you got onto me the way a big brother or other family member would to make sure that im keeping myself healthy so that im around for a long time–this is comforting in a way i cannot explain. this is the only community i have right now, the only body of Christ that im tied to, interact with, receive encouragement from…and you all have been so wonderful. you have been a faithful, caring friend. thank you, thank you for your prayers and support!

God bless you, too. i missed you much on Ann’s wed link…why did you have to drop out again? lol. but i am heading over to Emily’s soon to read your post there. im sure its a good one. :)

blessings,

Nacole

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Craig September 29, 2011 at 8:31 pm

and Nacole – I already have a little sister – but I think you’d make a nice other little sister ツ

God bless!

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Nacole September 30, 2011 at 1:30 pm

awww, well, thanks. i didnt see a place to email you, so i’ll just ask this here:

im having a very frustrating problem with my google account and blog, and have asked everyone that i could that i thought might be able to help. i can sign into blogger to post on my blog, but i cant sign into google to post comments, even on my own blog. Cora told me how to use the Name/URL forum, and that worked for a few times, and has worked on others’ blogs sometimes, but then sometimes not, and now has stopped working even on my own blog. this is very frustrating, because i cannot comment to my own guests on my blog, and i seem like a horrible hostess and friend. i am not happy about this at all. Cora is fun to vent to, because she gets pretty fired up about this kind of stuff ;D. i heart Cora a lot–i know you do, too. anyway, can you please help me? im drowning here in blogging site ignorance.

Debbie September 27, 2011 at 12:47 am

Thank you so much for staying with this . . .for starting the thank you’s and then letting them tumble out. Hearted the special Sara art too! And Craig . . .this may not be the right place to add this, but I found a post for Laska . . .another kitty, Dolly, that blogs sometimes. A thank you to Laska . . .
God bless you as you choose to connect and all that that choice brings.

ttp://todayithink.wordpress.com/2011/09/27/tuesday-dolly-dilemma/

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Craig September 27, 2011 at 5:16 pm

Debbie, I know there are Kitty blogging sites – please don’t tempt me – PLEASE – I can’t really even keep up with just these two blogs – much less a separate Laska the love Kitty blog!! so much to do – not enough time – and this dumb body doesn’t cooperate well enough. But still – thankful – thankful more than not. And I really heart that Sara art – thank you for hearting it too. God bless you Debbie

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Jerry June 28, 2014 at 6:22 am

Considering #565 Sarah– She is mentioned by the Apostle Paul in Hebrews 11 the faith chapter.

She was certainly faithful and for her faithfulness she will receive an earthly resurrection to be one of those who will represent God’s Kingdom here on earth as the fleshly representatives of Spiritual Israel; the Christ, head and body. She will not be given a heavenly spiritual resurrection but for her faithfulness and those ancient worthies like her also mentioned in Hebrews 11, will receive perfection at the resurrection having already proved faithful.

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Jerry June 28, 2014 at 6:24 am

Remember this is what we pray for: Thy Kingdom Come thy will be done here on Earth as it is in Heaven!

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Jerry June 28, 2014 at 6:27 am

The heavens are God’s throne and the earth is God’s footstool and he will make his footstool glorious! Isaiah 66:1

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Craig June 28, 2014 at 9:04 pm

Jerry, thank you for stopping by, I blog only sporadically now. This post was written as the death of someone wasmaking me think about life and death and life. There was a time when I would debate exactly what would happen upon death, exactly what might be ahead, rapture, pre-millennial, post-millennial, all the different positions. I’ve reached the point in my faith where I know to major on the majors and minor on the minors. I’m not sure if our theology is exactly the same. But I sense your heart, I sense a strong Christian heart, this makes us brothers, thank you. God bless and keep you Jerry.

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