In which there is the most important conversation (pt4)

by Craig on October 19, 2011

How do I witness to a loved one? source

The most important conversation of my life…

of. her. life….

as her life was ending.

This is part four, part three is over at Deep into Love today, and one is here, and two is here.

Mom…

How long has it been since you last read the Bible?

About a week ago.  The Gideon Bible, I didn’t like it. I like the old King James.
I read some Psalms and Revelation…
I’m very interested in Revelation – it’s one of my favorites.
And I read the story of Ruth again.

She could recite the books of the Bible in order, in song…
that was the old Baptist training…
she had heard the Word…

addressed doubts eat away at the false…
unaddressed they swallow little bits of faith a piece at a time.
I had never once seen her read a Bible, but she had.

Is regular Bible reading important?

Well, I don’t feel that if I haven’t read the Bible in say two months that I’m less of a Christian.  It would be great if people would, we wouldn’t have the mess we have now.  Personally I don’t feel I have to read it regularly. I’ve been through the Bible — memorized more passages…

Left unfinished this answer…
but children know much of their mamas too…
enough to finish what’s left unsaid…

How do I witness to a loved one? source

…and trace the final thought back to the root…
“memorized more passages than you can know…
more passages than you can…
more passages than you…
more passages…”

Would you like to read it more?
Yes.

Are there absolute truths?

There are situations where a lie is not wrong.  I’m in between, it depends on the situation and the person.

Feet firmly planted in experience…
hard experience…
a broken home…
a drunk of a father…
a mother more interested in bingo then her seven babies…
an orphanage…
a teen bride to a man who disappeared into the night…
sailing away on a ship…
a man I never met…
a single mom in the 60’s…
well before it was in vogue…
and then married again…
for her babies…
to bring them security…
and that came…
but along with security…
it introduced to me, fear and bruises and beatings…
and that doesn’t happen to the child you love…
without feeling every strike…without guilt weighing heavy…
and she became imprisoned in a dungeon of emotional pain…

she was a flower in love with the sun…
loved to bask…
loved to shine…

How do I witness to a loved one? source

dungeons are dark…
and so she found what light she could …
and carried darkness and pain deeper in.

there is more…

tomorrow there is more…

digging through layers…

asking before declaring…

the gospel to be shared…

but not without knowing…

first.

Please come back.

{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }

Debbie October 19, 2011 at 8:26 am

Oh yes I will come back. Asking before declaring. When He gives us the luxury of time. Do I use it well? Thank you and God bless you dear Craig.

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Craig October 19, 2011 at 11:41 am

you know how Paul wrote that he was the chief of all sinners – I think I was the chief of all “declarers” – always declaring before asking. Cart before horse. Oh me of little – and often misdirected faith. I’m learning. God bless you Debbie.

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Cora October 19, 2011 at 9:07 am

Craig, for some reason, I’m feeling this. . . yes, it’s pain . . . very, very deeply. I haven’t figured that out yet. I am feeling your Mom’s heart, and yours. Back in my 30’s, all these answers would have been mine. I’d sing the books of the Bible with her, recite the passages, and speak softly of my “unattended doubts.” I guess the pain I feel is the overwhelming grace that has been poured on me — a million chances to get it right — and I ask, “Why me?” Why, as an 8-year-old, was I given the wisdom to understand the wordless book? And why did “the hounds of Heaven” come after me relentlessly for years and years, nipping at my heals? For me? I can’t wait to meet your Mom. And I’ll bring her that rose, Craig. That spoke worlds to me today!

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Craig October 19, 2011 at 11:22 am

Cora, I actually thought of you as I was thinking of my mom’s childhood religious background – she said that religion got “drummed into her” – I’ve gotten the picture that that’s how it happened with you too. But look where she is now – and look where YOU are now in your faith. I heart your faith! And you’ve had a taste of my deepest thoughts on time and eternity – and you might know this if you remember – somehow – and I don’t know how God does it – we are NOW seated in the heavenly places (Ephesians 2:6. I think). If that’s true – even though we’re HERE and she’s THERE – WE”RE there too – and I’ve probably already introduced her to you – and I suspect you too hit it off really well ((( smile))). God bless you.

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thefisherlady October 19, 2011 at 11:40 am

I can feel the pain too, Craig, the amazing pain of trying to keep kids safe but not being able… a prison of pain…sigh

but God…
always God uses these broken pieces to show us more of Himself. If we put all the broken pieces from all of our lives together, the puzzle picture is one of Him on the cross, saying… It is finished!!!!
a done deal… victory come… death swallowed…
joyful is the death of His saints… for they will see Him as He is. No more prison… the roses all bloom freely in the morning sun… forever.

Thanks for sharing your heart, Craig
looking for more :)

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Craig October 19, 2011 at 11:44 am

my mom, a bastion of smiles and joy, but how dark things must’ve been inside – and she would certainly never let her children know – but I’ve read some of her letters. such a life of pain – she was a tough Brooklyn cookie! And I heart your metaphor – all the broken pieces adding up to the cross – I heart that – lots! You, my friend, have a heart brimming with poetry! God bless you Susan.

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Andrea Dawn October 19, 2011 at 12:09 pm

What struck me in this post was the Scriptures she was drawn to . . . Psalms (pouring your heart out to God, the joy, the sorrow, the pain) . . . Revelations (the picture of what will be . . . no more tears, no more pain) and Ruth (the intimate portrait of a woman’s encounter with her Redeemer). We can’t always say with words where our heart is but He knows us so well and hears the yes in our hearts before it passes across our lips.

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Craig October 19, 2011 at 12:16 pm

you know, Andrea Dawn, I was wondering about those – I thought much the same as you – but I think your guess – I think it’s spot on! Thank you for that (tears right now) – thank you. The Scriptures she was drawn to spoke her heart! It takes somebody with a heart like yours to see that – mine is just starting to grow I think – it wants to be like yours when it grows up.ツ God bless you Andrea Dawn!

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Andrea Dawn October 19, 2011 at 4:16 pm

I find it very interesting that so many people have been writing about their mothers in this past week (me included) . . . it is quite extraordinary really. It you’d like to meet my mama, come and visit for a few minutes . . .
http://theartoflifeistogetthemessage.blogspot.com/2011/10/remembering-mama.html
and the Gypsy Mama’s post
http://thegypsymama.com/2010/09/18-years-and-half-my-life/

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thefisherlady October 19, 2011 at 2:50 pm

I forgot to mention, I just love the first photo of the gosling so attentive to mama…

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Craig October 19, 2011 at 2:56 pm

me too!!!!! I thought it was perfect. Makes me smile. THANK YOU!!!!

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Martha Orlando October 19, 2011 at 4:59 pm

I am so moved by your last two posts . . . These are the questions I would love to sit down with my own parents and ask. I don’t know if they would feel comfortable with this; I don’t know where their heart-faith stands. They are both 83 and I am worried . . .

My prayer is that, in reading my Daily Devotionals, they are inviting, making peace with, wanting to know, wanting to have Jesus in their lives.

Getting choked up. Will visit tomorrow.

Blessings, Craig, and thank you.

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Craig October 19, 2011 at 5:06 pm

oh, Martha, I know exactly – EXACTLY – how you feel. There’s that pit in the stomach – no matter how good your parents are – and my mom was an angel – if she didn’t know Jesus she wouldn’t go to heaven. So I know. And as I said in the another comment – I didn’t know for certain that my mom had accepted – she told me – without words – and it was only a little miracle of God that made me certain. I’ll blog about that soon. But as she was in the hospital those last days – I didn’t know – and it was all I could think about. Remember, I didn’t ask my mom all of these questions all at once – I’m getting the feeling that sprinkling them in – and paying really close attention – one question at a time – maybe that’s the way to do it. In the end I gave my mom a letter – a personalized letter – no pressure – but something she could go back to – full of personal information – I’ll be sharing that soon too. I get it, Martha – I really get it! God bless you my friend.

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Martha Orlando October 19, 2011 at 8:59 pm

Thank you, Craig. You always have the right words . . .

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Danelle October 19, 2011 at 10:24 pm

I want you to know that this was written in such a way that I ached while reading it.
Beautiful Craig. Just beautiful.
And what love your sweet momma has passed on to you. . . . .
Love in Christ,
Danelle

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Craig October 20, 2011 at 4:22 pm

Danelle, thank you, that means a lot, really. It’s only by reading in this community – reading the hearts of moms, that I’m catching just a little tiny bit of that great love – and the ability to write it. Love in Christ, Danelle, love in Christ. ツ

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