In which there are 1,000 thank you’s to God (#’s 775-785)

by Craig on February 13, 2012

To keep a gratitude journal to God is to live present, in God, in lovesource

When dreams are too distant to see…
opposition by those once trusted injures seemingly beyond repair…
when hope and faith are as fleeting as wind…
and desire to give up overwhelms…

Oh, and you have a wee bit of pneumonia.

Pneumonia, for me begins with a common virus…
but when the insomnia I’ve had for 15 years flares up…
as the body is fighting the virus…
and it wakes me more than 30 times a night…
for a stretch of days…
the virus runs rampant and becomes more.

Right now, to remain vertical for more than a five-minute stretch is near impossible.

Not whining.

I don’t think.

Maybe a little.

Will you go away if I tell you that I have literally nothing except for faith?

Since I named this year “see”, I’ve seemed blinded.

To keep a gratitude journal to God is to live present, in God, in lovesource

The spiritual side of this, I seem to want to explain away in any other way then spiritual. So what to say thank you to God for…when everything is spinning so much faster than you can grasp?

Thank You God…

#775… that You aren’t distant. I am.

#776… that I know, that I know, that I know, You are here.

#777… that though my mind wants to deny You, more than 25 years of experience with You won’t let it.

#778… for knowing this…
should everything continue to worsen…
and never, ever get better…
You are enough.

#779… that even if I can’t hang on – You won’t let go.

How do people without faith make it through the darkest of times?

How brave they must be.

#780… that the reason I know that  if I have nothing you are enough…
is because I have had nothing…and you were enough.

I want to pretend possession of more faith, confidence, and hope.
I don’t want to look every bit the hypocrite.

The reflection is broken right now.

To keep a gratitude journal to God is to live present, in God, in lovesource

But then…everything on earth is a little broken.

#781… that Your Bible…after all these years…is part of me…second nature…first nature?

#782… that You have taught me to remember in the dark what You have shown me in the light.

#783… that I may doubt. You don’t.

#784… that I may fail. You won’t.

How lucky am I?

To have nothing…

yet have more than everything…

#785… that I have You.

{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }

Carrie February 13, 2012 at 9:31 am

I’m so sorry that you’re still ill! I’ll pray for your healing and some rest! I don’t think those who don’t believe in Him are brave, only broken. Those of us who believe so deeply that our faith can sometimes be all that is left? That is brave :)

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Craig February 13, 2012 at 2:58 pm

Carrie, Kreg haz bin havingz uf nemownya – haz bin veree sik, lyk wen hartz flee dropz wuz meen tu mee – I m heer to hav tellingz uv wy he duz not rite u bak – he iz having uv soreez – he wil rite bak next tym u rite tu him.
Luv, laska the luv kitee

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Craig February 13, 2012 at 3:01 pm

and thank you Carrie – HEART HEART HEART your kind words.

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Victoria February 13, 2012 at 10:48 am

Looks like I need to step up the prayers. Prayers for healing, prayers for rest and sleep, prayers for the Year of See, and prayers for your family.
I love what Carrie said too…every word of it.
It is wonderful to have Him, isn’t it?
God Bless you Craig. get well. If I lived close to you, I’d make sure you had a good hot pot of chicken soup with lots of garlic.

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Craig February 13, 2012 at 2:58 pm

Victoria, Kreg haz bin havingz uf nemownya – haz bin veree sik, lyk wen hartz flee dropz wuz meen tu mee – I m heer to hav tellingz uv wy he duz not rite u bak – he iz having uv soreez – he wil rite bak next tym u rite tu him.
Luv, laska the luv kitee

kreg lyks garlic

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Martha Orlando February 13, 2012 at 11:38 am

“To have nothing . . and yet have more than everything” – that is precisely what faith teaches us and what hope brings.
Craig, I am so sorry you are so ill! I will be joining the others in praying for your healing in all ways. Bless you for managing to write another beautiful post in spite of it all.
God bless, my friend!

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Craig February 13, 2012 at 2:59 pm

Martha, Kreg haz bin havingz uf nemownya – haz bin veree sik, lyk wen hartz flee dropz wuz meen tu mee – I m heer to hav tellingz uv wy he duz not rite u bak – he iz having uv soreez – he wil rite bak next tym u rite tu him.
Luv, laska the luv kitee

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Martha Orlando February 13, 2012 at 5:24 pm

Thanks, Laska! Love you, too! >^..^<

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Mary February 13, 2012 at 12:39 pm

thank you for sharing even in your time of illness ~ I will be praying also…
this phrase really caught me today “because I have had nothing…and you were enough”
isn’t it true ~ HE is all we need…

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Craig February 13, 2012 at 3:00 pm

Mary, I’d write more, but not now, NEVER get pneumonia! God bless you – He IS enough!! (Mary was my Mom’s name – I heart that name)

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Dawn February 13, 2012 at 1:29 pm

I was talking to my sister and she said she doesn’t hammer God with prayers. She just talks to Him all day long because she knows He knows and she simply thinks about someone and it reminds her they are in His hands. She is a woman of tremendous faith. I love your 781, that what is in the Bible is your first nature and 782 that you remember in the dark what you’ve learned in the light. BOTH of these are the tools of a survivor.

Susan wrote something profound in my comment section of Scripture and a Snapshot #33 over at my place. She and I were discussing REALLY seeing. You might find it helpful. I even mentioned you because this is the year of see for you.

Thinking of you, if that is prayer then you are prayed for,
Dawn

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Craig February 13, 2012 at 3:00 pm

Dawn an th muttlies – Kreg haz bin havingz uf nemownya – haz bin veree sik, lyk wen hartz flee dropz wuz meen tu mee – I m heer to hav tellingz uv wy he duz not rite u bak – he iz having uv soreez – he wil rite bak next tym u rite tu him.
Luv, laska the luv kitee

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Dawn February 13, 2012 at 3:44 pm

Laska,

You are a good cat. The best thing for a sick human is to have his best buddy (you) snuggle close and keep him warm. If too warm, he will push you to a cooler place. Some Gospel purring may help, too.

Do you know how to make chicken soup?
Dawn

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Christina February 14, 2012 at 4:37 am

#778 is my favorite and the one I’ve been clinging to lately. Praying for your health and that he would renew your strength.

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Craig February 19, 2012 at 12:04 pm

Christina, first of all, sorry for replying almost a week late to your comment. I’m still fighting a little bit of pneumonia at the moment – it’s slowing me down a smidge. and Christina – number 778 came to me on a spring night about seven years ago – lots of stars in the sky – things looking dreadful – and thought came to me in prayer – if I have nothing Jesus must be enough, if I have everything Jesus must be more. I have held onto that since. God bless you my friend – and thank you.

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Debbie February 14, 2012 at 5:51 pm

Prayers, friend Craig. So sorry! This is yuck and meh and bleh and blargh all rolled into one. Asking Him to sustain you and carry you today.

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Craig February 19, 2012 at 12:05 pm

Debbie, first of all, sorry for replying almost a week late to your comment. I’m still fighting a little bit of pneumonia. thank you for your prayers as always my friend. I just finished a little one for you. God bless you!

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