In which is “useless” and “meaningless”

by Craig on May 27, 2012

for when you feel useless and life seems meaninglesssource

I had just gotten over the effects of the drug that made me care about nothing. If I had stayed on it, I might not have cared about living…a stone’s throw from suicide.

But the feelings lingered after I stopped taking it. .

In the days following…

were these overwhelming emotions…

“I don’t want to do anything.”
“I don’t want to talk to anyone.”
“I want time to stop, the world to stop, I can’t catch up.”

“I’m useless. Anything I do is meaningless.”

I doubt whether animals or atoms or plants have a desire to mean something.

But we do. Don’t we?

Without meaning to life there’s a gaping hole in existence.

Solomon got this…poor Solomon.

I remember reading this passage for the first time and thinking that Solomon blew it. God said, “Whatever you ask I shall give you.” (1 KI 3:5). When I read Solomon’s answer of “wisdom” I shut the Bible tight.

“No!” I cried out from my bed. “Ask for faith! Because in faith is wisdom. How could you not see that! Idiot!”

Yup, that’s what I said about “the wisest man ever”. (1 KI 3:12)

And I often think, that though Our Lord was pleased that Solomon didn’t ask for wealth or power, he must have winced at the thought…

if you feel useless, or your life is meaningless...source

…of great wisdom mingled with weak faith.

Wisdom, in the absence of faith, yields this conclusion of Solomon’s…

“Vanity of vanities! All things are vanity!” (Eccl 1:2)

Vanity, not in the sense of looking in a mirror…
but in the sense of everything being in vain…

meaningless…
pointless…
senseless…

empty.

Ancient Hebrew uses this kind of phrasing as a “superlative” – taking something to the highest degree. “Vanity of vanities” is like saying “Lord of lords”, or “King of kings”.

Solomon writes his entire biblical thesis on how meaningless life is (Ecclesiastes), droning on about its utter futility, and faith doesn’t poke its head out from under the rubble of wisdom until the last two verses.

The last word, when all is heard: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this concerns all humankind; because God will bring to judgment every work, with all its hidden qualities, whether good or bad. (Eccl 12:13,14)

I sometimes think Solomon…
with all that wisdom…
didn’t “get” faith…
until the last. two. verses…of his life…

Anyway…

In the aftermath of the ill-advised medication…

I felt the weight of useless…
crushed by the gravity of meaningless…

embracing more and more guilt each minute.

But, in the wake of the impression of meaningless…
came a dialogue with God about meaning.

And now I’ll leak the dialogue.

Starting next time…

Please come back.

{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }

Sylvia May 27, 2012 at 7:44 pm

So glad you arrived there, at the faith view, the look-up, look-toward-God view. When I did/led a Bible study on Ecclesiastes I felt I had to do it in juxtaposition with the vertical view of Paul and others. Too depressing otherwise, to me, anyhow, stuck “under the sun” like that!
Been praying for you lately. Just wanted to check in and see how you were doing. May God keep pulling your look upward, toward Him, and blessing you in many ways.

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Craig May 28, 2012 at 4:50 pm

Sylvia, to me, Ecclesiastes reads like a journal written by an older person who has seen so much life – and seen so much bad happen to good people – and good happen to bad people – and maybe forgotten that there is a God above it all – and then near the very end – he remembers. And when he remembers – he realizes that there is really only one reason for living. Just one man’s opinion ツ thank you Sylvia, and God bless you.

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Sylvia May 28, 2012 at 5:14 pm

Sounds right on, Craig. I just wonder what Paul’s journal would read like…

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Craig May 28, 2012 at 5:44 pm

(ツ)

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Michelle May 28, 2012 at 4:29 am

Looking forward to it. :)

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Craig May 28, 2012 at 4:50 pm

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Lisa Maria May 28, 2012 at 9:40 am

Oh I have so been there Craig! Still pay that place a visit every now and then when the devil tries to crush me beneath the burdens and paralyze me with a weariness that is suffocating. The only way out of that pit is a hand up from God…keeping my eyes on Him in this wearying season and praying for you , as always.

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Craig May 28, 2012 at 4:55 pm

I get it. Lisa Maria – I think one of the great sins of Christianity is that we don’t look after one another well enough – and be real and honest with each another – about our struggles, and pain – we hide it too well. That’s not “loving one another”. If we could all stop trying to look perfect and gather together as broken people made whole by the grace of God and supported by each other – wow – what a difference. Thank you for praying for me. I enjoy praying for you as well. God bless and keep you my friend.

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Martha Orlando May 28, 2012 at 11:40 am

Oh, yes, he should have asked for faith! I cannot wait to read your upcoming dialogue, Craig; I know it will be awesome!
Blessings to you always!

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Craig May 28, 2012 at 4:58 pm

Martha, I’ve since changed my position a little bit – as to what Solomon should’ve asked for. Now I think he should’ve asked for love – but then, first Corinthians 13 hadn’t been written yet ツ maybe if he had the “wisdom” first – and THEN answered the question – he would’ve asked for love, because in love is faith – and in faith – is wisdom. Blessings to you too Martha! ツ

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Martha Orlando May 28, 2012 at 5:14 pm

I like this! In my scripture reading today, one assigned passage was Ecclesiastes where Solomon is talking about the vanities. Gave me goosebumps because I had read your post just hours before . . . is God amazing, or what?
The new order – love, faith, then wisdom; through the first two comes the latter.
Beautiful! :)

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Craig May 29, 2012 at 5:45 am

that made me smile – smiles have been too scarce – thank you my friend ツ now for me to remember what I write ツ

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