In which is steady, intent, trudging toward the Light

by Craig on October 4, 2012

Sara now has a perfect resurrected body. And at first I didn’t know what I was, then I was inconsolably sad, and now I’m learning, I’m learning…

something.

gitzngirl-choose joy- death-dying-1 cor 13 love

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♥✞ღ I posted this the day after Sara left this earth, this time last year, on Deep Into Love. I never want to forget what I felt when eternity touched time. ♥✞ღ

It’s just before dawn as I write. On the horizon, a solid group of clouds stretch north to south, like a mountain range in the distance.

And the moon…it was a tiny sliver yesterday…
anticipating the sun in the dark sky before dawn…
sitting between the cornflower blue and aqua layers of the sky.

But today…it’s gone.

The moon is missing.

My heart is reflected in nature.

No birds this morning, no crickets, all silent.
Overhead are a heaping spoonful of morning stars to greet the dawn…
stars usually hidden by the light of the now missing moon…
and I take notice of the addition by subtraction.

Sara has gone home to be with the Father.  And the sadness that has been so overwhelming is turning slowly to stillness. The whitewater of emotion is beginning to settle to the calmer pool at the bottom of the rapids…

…and a solitary bird sings outside.

gitzngirl-choose joy- death-dying-1 cor 13 love

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I’m not quite ready to quip about dancing in heaven and angels singing.

Sara, a real person, alive like everyone we see…
alive like anyone we’ve ever known…
alive like Jesus was alive…
is still alive, but there is no more pain, and there are no tears.

I heard someone say that she is now an angel. Sara is no angel. Now, she judges angels. She is above them in power, and glory, and authority.

And that releases a brief smile.

And I notice the clouds on the horizon continue to move further east, revealing more early morning blue sky. But with more light, a mist is revealed. The bottom of the trees are clear, the tops are in enveloped in fog.

I’m reflected again.

We are here and we need to continue to live well…
continue to love…continue to serve Him by serving others…
continue to run the race well as Sara’s earthly race is now complete.

I believe as firmly as I do that Jesus lived and then died and is alive…
that Sara has heard from Him, “Well done my good and faithful servant.”

gitzngirl-choose joy- death-dying-1 cor 13 love

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The birds have now taken to the sky but still no singing, just quietly about their business.
I’m quietly about mine. But I’m in mist, silent, still, anticipating the blazing Sun.

But it doesn’t come.

It never breaks brilliantly over the horizon clouds.

Daylight arrives…

but without fanfare…

it’s another reflection.

Here are all of this month’s Sara posts.
You might heart them as much as I.

In which it’s the small things
Love remembers when eternity touches time
In which sorrow submerges joy
Love prays peace, courage, faith, and knowing
In which are “eternity touching time” thank you’s to God
Love is eternity touching time
In which there is hard love
Love believes beyond the dark doorway
In which everyone should have at least one
Love is the faith of a child
In which there is keeping watch
Love is sometimes paradox
In which is rain, and tears in season
Love is greater than the universe, as are we 

 

{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

Martha Orlando October 4, 2012 at 3:19 pm

The way the morning reflected where you were inside was so beautifully done, Craig. I could see how everything was unfolding as though I were right there with you. Another wonderful, comforting post, my friend.
Blessings!

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Craig October 31, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Martha, just like in the other post, where the rain reflected my emotions – the morning reflected my emotions this time. I can’t take credit for it. I think I’ll give it to God. Thank you Martha, you really have been a gem. God bless you!

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A. October 5, 2012 at 6:07 pm

This is a very touching post, and I especially loved this part:

“We are here and we need to continue to live well…
continue to love…continue to serve Him by serving others…
continue to run the race well as Sara’s earthly race is now complete.”

It reminds me that Father of Lights has work for me here and now and it matters though I am but a crumb on this earth.

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Craig October 31, 2012 at 3:45 pm

These days, since those seven days with no sleep, have all been jumbled up into one for me. I’m sorry I’m only now replying to your comment from a month ago. But since I have begun blogging. I’ve never let a comment go without a response. (except some of your comments when you come back from a break and comment on every post ツ ) So even though this is a very late response, I appreciate you so much that I need to respond. Thank you for still reading me while I’ve been going through this lost time. I thought I’d be out of the woods, out of the rabbit hole, but the rabbit hole was larger than I thought it would be.

I haven’t been running the race well – I’ve been serving others – I’ve been doing that part of the race well. Writing has been hard, everything is hard, but at least I’m doing that much – remember the post about helping the reflections – I’m being of use – and that’s a good thing. Small victories :-) God bless you A, my friend.

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Debbie October 5, 2012 at 10:15 pm

Thank you, Craig, for sharing your heart with us and what He is doing in it all. God bless you and keep you, as you live for Him.

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