In which are folding, choosing, remembering and smiling

by Craig on October 30, 2012

1 cor 13 love - gitzngirl-Sara Frankle-choose joy-dying

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It’s a little thing…
and I won’t stop doing it…
because it’s like gobbling up little dots of happy.

Only a handful of people even know I do it.
And now you’ll know too.

As a kid I didn’t want to do it. I hated it. I grumbled.

Mom said it was the right way.

I complained that it took too long.
She said, “Anything worth doing is worth doing well.”

I argued that it didn’t make sense!

She told me it was because they fit better in the closet.
I said. “Mooooooooom – every closet we’ve ever had?!!!”

(We had at least 8 different linen closets in 3 different states)

But every debate ceased when she uttered the magic words…

1 cor 13 love - gitzngirl-Sara Frankle-choose joy-dying

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Meh.

So I took each towel…
tag on the inside…
folded it in half…
then in thirds…
then in half again.

It was the Mom tri-fold – her signature move.

And my mom is gone from this earth…
and I still do it…and it makes me think of her…
and I smile every time.

Every. Time.

I never made any grand promise that I would continue to do it after I left home. Actually, it wasn’t until Mom left this earth that I did it for the first time, on my own. I didn’t think about it. I just…

took each towel…
tag on the inside…
folded it in half…
then in thirds…
then in half again..

1 cor 13 love - gitzngirl-Sara Frankle-choose joy-dying

I did my mom’s signature move.

And I smiled.

And Sara is gone now.

And I don’t know how she folded her towels.
But I know her signature move.

1 cor 13 love - gitzngirl-Sara Frankle-choose joy-dying

And I immediately want to say, because she’s gone, that I will choose joy now, for the rest of my life, in memory of her, to carry on her legacy, to honor her life. But it’s not a good thing to over-promise and under-deliver.

So I’ll just do it like the towels.
Not over-thinking – and maybe it’ll become habit.

I’ll do it and get two smiles…
one, because it makes the bitter a little sweeter…
and two, because I’ll remember…and that’s worth a smile too.

And yesterday I had one of those days where everything went wrong…

a bunch of things…

and negative thoughts…

a bunch of them.

And I thought of all the negative feelings and perspectives….
and I jotted them down on a Hotel pad from a  stay last year.

Then I thought of the positive ways, the “choose joy” ways to look at it all…

and I jotted them down.

I kept the positive paper as is – and reread it a bit…

and smiled…and I thought, “Could it be this easy?”
I wanted to crumple up the stupid negative list.

But instead…

just for fun…

I folded it in half…
then in thirds…
then in half again…

Mom’s signature move…

and I smiled.

and then I glanced down at the folded paper…and saw this…

and how could I not smile…

about that?

And here, in one place, are all of  the posts on life, the end of life, and Sara.

In which it’s the small things ♥✞ღ Love remembers when eternity touches time ♥✞ღ In which sorrow submerges joy ♥✞ღ Love prays peace, courage, faith, and knowing ♥✞ღ In which are “eternity touching time” thank you’s to God ♥✞ღ Love is eternity touching time ♥✞ღ In which there is hard love ♥✞ღ Love believes beyond the dark doorway ♥✞ღ In which everyone should have at least one ♥✞ღ Love is the faith of a child ♥✞ღ In which there is keeping watch ♥✞ღ Love is sometimes paradox ♥✞ღ In which is rain, and tears in season ♥✞ღ Love is greater than the universe, as are we ♥✞ღ In which is steady, intent, trudging toward the Light ♥✞ღ Love reaches for the higher branches ♥✞ღ In which is tapestry ♥✞ღLove is believing, living, blinking out, then still living ♥✞ღ In which the fire should NOT die out ♥✞ღ In which death is NOT Goodbye | Sara’s Funeral Love uncovers joy amid the rubble of grief ♥✞ღ In which is what’s important to God ♥✞ღ Love is being a “God-bearer”

 

{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }

Sylvia R October 30, 2012 at 10:59 am

What a cool (and joyful) post! I love this! The whole thing, but especially the twist… no, fold… at the end!
Blessings — of joy — to you!

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Craig November 1, 2012 at 5:10 pm

Sylvia, I’m sorry this is a late response, I wish the brain were really is back together as I would want it to be – it’s not. But I’m girding loins and stepping forward regardless – my mom never gave up – our Lord never gave up until it was time – I can’t either. And I love when God sends these little touches of his to us – he does them to all of us if we just look – I’m glad I got to look at this “twist” – and glad I got to share it with you.Thank you Sylvia for still coming by even though I’ve been so absent from the world – I’m really fighting to get back to some sort of normal. God bless and keep you my friend. Choose joy!

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Bill October 30, 2012 at 12:04 pm

Yes, concentrate on the Joy that is part of life. God will bring them to mind. Each day is a blessing. Hold strong. And call your friend (;

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Craig November 1, 2012 at 5:13 pm

every moment we get to choose, don’t we? And Christian joy he isn’t happy happy joy – it’s that deeper joy that comes from knowing that the one who spins the universe in perfect order spins our lives too. You’re still hero to me, Bill. I never really understood how a brain could go so wrong before – I get it now. So I’ll hold strong, gird the loins, and fight – that’s what you do – that’s what I need to do – and yes, choose joy! God bless and keep you my friend.

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Martha Orlando October 30, 2012 at 1:18 pm

Oh, how God speaks to us in the smallest, yet most meaningful, ways! I’d say He folded the negative into the positive for you, Craig, and you were ready to see it. To believe it.
Prayers for joy, my friend!
Blessings!

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Craig November 1, 2012 at 5:15 pm

He folded the negative into the positive

Amen – I love when he touches our lives like this – choosing joy right now is so difficult – this brain really not responding how I’d like. But it’s still a choice – I just need to do it. We ALL need to do it. Sara said it was as easy as just choosing – but we have to remember to choose. Thank you for your prayers. Martha – thank you for always being here – I never ever read fiction – I look forward to reading yours. God bless and keep you my friend.

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Michelle October 31, 2012 at 2:32 am

Hi! (Been away a little while, no computer, no energy because it is Spring and everything is conspiring against my breathing, but under control now – drugs and respiratory specialist in Feb).
So, I think I picked a good one to come back to. Or, rather, you to come to me with. :) (I now get you by email, because I forgot to save my bookmarks before my computer and had to remember, and you email (: )

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Craig November 1, 2012 at 5:18 pm

Michelle, you’ve been missed, believe me. I wondered about you, I knew you are struggling, I didn’t know the details. But believe me, not seeing your comments in my comment section – well – absence makes the heart grow fonder. My body and brain have been rebelling for a long time now – and my brain broke in May – you kind of missed all of that – just some broken brain writing that’s all – I just finished a prayer for you. You were missed. You were missed. God bless and keep you my friend.

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Debbie November 1, 2012 at 7:06 pm

Every time I fold towels now, I think about you, and your mom, and Sara . .and choosing joy. Thank you so much Craig , for the way you are impacting us, for Jesus!
God bless you and hold you close during these days, and bring healing and peace. You are not replaceable.

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Craig November 19, 2012 at 1:15 pm

Debbie – an Uber’-late reply to your comment on my towel folding post. I posted today for the first time in weeks. Really difficult footing lately – for six months – since those days with no sleep. But I’m trying. There is no healing – there is some peace – and I just folded a towel. And I smiled. God bless and keep you my good friend!

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A. November 2, 2012 at 12:45 am

I heart this post, Craig, and I agree with Deb! Folding towels and choosing joy-today you and your mom have inspired me.

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Craig November 19, 2012 at 1:16 pm

choosing joy – a moment by moment thing – why do I so easily forget? I’m not forgetting today. God bless you A!

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