In which words…cut…deep…

by Craig on December 7, 2011


Twitter is a public place. Generosity, and love, and kindness can be seen by everyone.
But so can careless words, cruel words, words tossed out without sensitivity…or knowledge.

This is part two (of two) of something which still has me reeling this morning…
The other part is on Deep into Love…
Please, click over there first for the full story…
Then if you’d like, come back here.

This will make a lot more sense if you have read part one.

This was the tweet that cut me to the core…

That was enough, but I was curious and followed the twitter trail – and found these…and each one cut a little deeper…

I really need to hear from you guys about this. It brings back all those memories of a year ago, it makes me feel stalker-ish. It makes me feel absolutely unwelcome writing in this community. I really need to know what you all think about this, and my approach, and what I did right, or wrong, and what I should do, if I should do anything at all.

And should I cancel my plans to attend Blissdom, will this only follow me there. After a year of building relationships there will be many there that know me – but now I’ll be looking over my shoulder again.

Should I apologize? And if so, for what? Should I stop commenting on female written blogs? Should I only comment on blogs who comment here? I need honesty of people I respect, and almost all of you are Christian women – this man needs your wisdom.

Next to last word – I am utterly destroyed by this…



Last word – I’ll just be quiet now and hope you comment or send me an email. email address is

{ 27 comments… read them below or add one }

Sylvia December 7, 2011 at 10:49 am



I tried to send you an email, but am not sure of your addy. If you didn’t get it, just send me one, even blank, and I’ll get back to you. (or check your “spam box” – maybe it’s there.) I want to respond about this, but NOT in a public forum!

God be much with you.


Craig December 9, 2011 at 10:47 am

Thank you Sylvia – your emails were awesome. God Bless.


SomeGirl December 7, 2011 at 12:02 pm

Left you a comment on Deep Into Love. :)


Victoria December 7, 2011 at 12:51 pm

Oh yes! You will be hearing from me. But I want to say this here. I hope your positive commenters will have your back. You might not be looking for that Craig, but it might be the only way to ease the discomfort of cat women.
Craig, hold on to the positive, which I’m sure outweigh the negative (except tell me why it takes 10 positive comments to help a person let go of one negative comment…not you…just as a rule), hold on to the love of Y’shua, HOLD ON TO HIM, and pray for these women who don’t yet have the gift of seeing inside a fellow Christian’s heart. Oh!! I just thought of something! Maybe they haven’t read you! Maybe that’s why they can’t know your heart. You wrote a nice note to them, but if that is all I ever saw of you, then I might be suspicious too, especially these days…just look at the news. I mean, what if T.D. Jakes went to the conference. Do you think they;d think that’s creepy? They wouldn’t because they get that T.D. Jakes gets women. They don’t get your heart for God…they don’t know. It’s kind of like a “Father forgive them for they know not what they do” moment. Have mercy on them and if enough women have your back at the conference perhaps these women will have a change of heart.
I was dismayed at first too, but now I understand.
Pray about going and no matter what, go with the answer God puts on your heart.
LADIES who read this comment, please keep Craig in prayer. Pray too for the women to feel a sense of truth and peace regarding him. May God’s Spirit prevail in all of this.
Craig, tell me again, when is the conference? I want to make sure I keep you in prayer. And now that I’ve figured out what’s going on with these women, and have advised you here, I won’t be emailing you.
Please do yourself a favor and do not reread those women’s comment. Only reread the encouraging ones and leave the rest up to God. He’s got your back, you have His heart.
Sorry this was so long. :) God bless!!


Craig December 9, 2011 at 10:53 am

well, Victoria, this is only one woman who will be at the conference – and I know she hasn’t read me, it was my first comment on her blog, all of her friends won’t be attending. The conference is at the end of February. With very little money, and having to get a new computer, and some new medical things, and it looks like now, a new car, I may even have to reevaluate going -even though reservations are made and ticket purchased.. Lots of challenges. I have forgiven, have worked my way through this – God has taken me through this. So thank you. God bless.


Layla Payton December 9, 2011 at 11:14 pm

What Victoria said.


Craig December 17, 2011 at 10:08 am

Victoria, sorry I’m so late to respond, but the week has been a truly difficult one. And I don’t know why it takes 10 positive comments to overrule one negative one – for some people – i.e. me – it may take more. But then, this was not one comment, it was about five or six – so according to your math it would take about 50 or 60 comments to overrule it. I didn’t get 60+ comments – so maybe that explains why I still struggle with this. ツ I want you to know that I did hold on to our God, and I do understand why they did what they did, I prayed about that too. And you’re right, it is a Father forgive them – they know not what they do moment. And so I have. I’m still unsure about going to the conference, but I’m leaning toward facing down the giants– real or imagined, human or spiritual. Thank you for praying, thank you for asking others to pray. The conference is called Blissdom, and it will be February 23 through the 25th – if I’m there I will need to be surrounded by prayer because emotionally this will follow me – and who knows – the following of it may be more than emotional – this woman will be attending – and we know how easily gossip will fly among 800 women gathered in one place for three days. It might among men too – but it’d be different – it’d be direct. This is not the first time this issue has come up – I’ll need the prayer support. And Victoria, your comment was the perfect length – they always are. Thank you. God bless you my friend.


Felecia December 7, 2011 at 3:23 pm

Got your back, front, top, and bottem – you’re covered in prayer. Sent 2 emails from address you’re not familiar with (ClarkeFHR). Check spam.
We heart you!


Craig December 9, 2011 at 10:54 am

got your e-mails Felecia – I’ll be responding there – thank you.


Martha Orlando December 7, 2011 at 3:29 pm

Oh, Craig, this is so disturbing and distressing! My heart is breaking for you right now.
After reading Victoria’s superb comment, I don’t think I could add anything to offer better comfort or advice. She has hit the nail on the head.
I will reiterate, though, her admonition to not reread the negative comments from people who don’t know your heart and your spirit. Focus on us who love and support you and heart your writing and wisdom so dearly.
Know I will be praying for you in all this. I know, too, that God will show you the way.
May He bless you, my friend.


Debbie December 7, 2011 at 7:42 pm

Craig, I am like the others here and I think you have gotten some really good advice here and at Deeper Into Love. I wish I could take the hurt of this away . . .but we know Someone who can. Jesus. He loves you and He gave you these blogs and this community to write in, and He gave you this year of connecting. And you have ,Craig, to many many people, and it’s been good.
God bless you and keep you close to His heart and give you His perfect peace at this time.


Andrea Dawn December 7, 2011 at 10:26 pm

Praying . . . that He who also was labelled, accused, misjudged . . . will comfort and encourage your heart. I can’t add much to what’s been said. Those who have read your blog for some time know your heart, your spirit, your personality.


Craig December 13, 2011 at 12:40 pm

a belated but heartfelt thank you Andrea Dawn – thank you.


Hillcrest Cottage December 9, 2011 at 1:09 pm

I’m behind on life… so I am just now commenting: That tweet was just plain, ole mean. And, knowing her age, is, in my opinion, reflective of her generation raised on the internet. Not ALL people in her generation, just ALOT in her generation. And I am a mom of this generation so I can speak to this with great authority.

First, it reflects upon her, what we call in the South, “breeding” from where the term “ill-bred” stems. Which reflects upon her mama not properly teaching her polite social skills. Twitter is a public place… even though it feels like a private place or a place where only close friends can interact: Twitter is a public place. Polite people don’t discuss private things in public places. Polite people don’t air their dirty laundry in their Facebook status either… just sayin’. But this generation seems to do a lot of both… and more.

Still… mean words hurt.

Don’t have advice today.. just want to stop by and give a little love… for whatever it is worth.

Don’t stop… spreading the love of Christ… to whomever you feel called.


Craig December 13, 2011 at 12:44 pm

I know this is a few days late – it’s not been an easy few days for this fast pumping heart of mine – I just want you to know that the “little love” was received – and very much appreciated. And I guess I’ll just have to… Not. Stop. God bless you my friend, and thank you again.


Layla Payton December 9, 2011 at 11:07 pm

Craig, I’ve been really sick the past two months, so I’ve been slack in my blog reading. You know that yours is the one I typically go to first. After reading this, I sit here pretty ticked.

Welcome to the world of women. It’s a place where gossip, back stabbing, and judgemental glances run rampant. It’s why I only have a small circle of trusted female friends. Sure, a lot of gals follow me on Facebook, but I know all to well how women can be.

Your blog is essential, important, inspiring, real, and rare. Take some advice from a female friend: Guard your heart. Write to a large audience. Keep your friend’s circle small. Love despite false claims & lies. The enemy wants you off of here, because you share God’s love with so much heart. You cut deep with reality, and slather the healing balm of Grace all over the screen.

To those who have thrown knives at our precious friend, Craig: Don’t you remember what it was like to feel inferior in a room full of your high school’s most “popular people?” The ones who always fit into the mold, while you stood there fidgeting, and nervously twisting a lock of hair? Remember how you noticed your clothes were different, your shoes outdated, or the fact that you didn’t know how to dance with finesse? That everyone was giving you sideways glances and talking behind your back? All because you were DIFFERENT?

Or, were you the popular one with a fist full of stones to throw?

Aren’t we out of high school yet?

Have we not grown up enough to realize that we should look into something/someone before blasting them via social networking?

There is a term for this sort of behavior, “Cyber Bullying.” Sadly, we typically think it’s kids that choose this avenue of abuse. Obviously, that is a misnomer.

Craig, if you stop blogging just because of a few women who got their undies in a twist…well…

…I’m gonna…

…cry. You want me to cry, Craig?

Nope. I didn’t think so. 😉

Why is it that we can here, “You’re so encouraging,” and forget it in 10 min, while an, “I don’t know anything about you, but you creep me out because I know nothing about you,” sticks like glue?

Because that is how the cowardly Enemy works.

You gonna let the Enemy win? (The Enemy is not flesh and blood.)

Didn’t think so.

Now, get back to blogging, your friends are counting on it. You have a circle of valuable, sweet, loving friends. Don’t close the door because the paparazzi wrote up a few lies.

Your Father wrote your story.

Please continue to share it.

Proud to be your friend,


Layla Payton December 9, 2011 at 11:12 pm

P.S. I meant, “hear,” not, “here.”


P.P.P.S. (Not sure if there is such a thing, but I’m using it anyway): Laska would not approve of you taking down the blogs either.

Nuff. Said.


Craig December 10, 2011 at 12:21 pm

It all helps Layla – thank you, nuf said almost :/ still hurts though…still hurts…steals confidence…but it all helps.The blogs aren’t going anywhere – just the confidence. God bless.


Layla Payton December 10, 2011 at 5:47 pm

35 So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded.

 36 You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.

Hebrews 10:35-36


Craig December 10, 2011 at 5:57 pm

Layla my friend, first, I hope your health is getting better – this has been a struggle for you – so I’m doubly grateful you took the time to get here and help. I’m just still not used to people helping. When you don’t let people in, they don’t even know you need the help – when you need the help. So it’s hard for me to accept all of the gracious words I have received via e-mail – a good flood of e-mail – and here – and from you. But as you said I should let my friends pray for me, and accept their love. I’m working on it. It’s not easy for me. God bless you Layla!


Sharon @ Hiking Toward Home December 12, 2011 at 1:53 pm

I’m a bit behind in my reading too…
This makes me think of Shaun Groves’ song No Better. Find it here:
He said at Relevant that he wrote it because when ever he takes a bunch of women bloggers on a trip, at least one of them is persecuted for doing it and writing about it. When he sang it at Relevant, he sang the first line as “when you throw your stone, aim it at HER heart.”
my favorite line in the song is “we all have hell to pay, and grace pays all we owe”


Craig December 13, 2011 at 12:51 pm

Sharon, so true, we all DO have hell to pay and Grace pays all we owe.

The words cut deep, but from all the e-mails I received, such good advice, such good insight, and with God’s help, I understand how what happened could happen – still processing…

Thank you Sharon, I know YOU know of bitter, cruel, thoughtless words whispered behind the back. I know you get it. God bless you.


Mari December 13, 2011 at 8:25 pm

Well this just sucks!
Craig, I think it might be time to take out the post-it notes and start battling those negative voices that I’m sure are having a party over this. I do pray God heals this pain and that He use this experience for your good. I just know he will!


Craig December 17, 2011 at 10:10 am

Mari, it has been a long, and heavy week. And you were absolutely right about the Post-it notes – those voices had a party over this. I stayed with our Lord, talked with him constantly, everything is in his hands. But your words, they were awfully helpful. Thank you. God bless you Mari.


A. December 15, 2011 at 11:43 pm

Craig, gone for a while, but here now, and wow, yes, the sad thing is that women bloggers can throw darts to the heart just as readily as men. Layla is right. And Victoria’s caution per suspicious people who don’t know your heart because they haven’t been reading your blog…yet, it was your short comment on another woman’s blog that first lead me here to your blog…because I saw your heart in that very first comment. So I guess where some of us see your heart, others see danger. Who knows why? Probably many reasons. Maybe some are very sensitive to things that remind them of bad experiences or trigger memories that have nothing to do with anything you have communicated. If so, these things are beyond your ability to even anticipate. None of us can anticipate what might trigger another person’s defenses to come up…and some of those defenses are expressed with tact and love; some are not. You have experienced the latter category, for sure, in those tweets.

I know the hurt of vicious rejection by those who claim to know Christ. It hurts….badly. And the sting lingers even after all rational thought and biblical truth has been applied. I know I still struggle with this and have to just cling to the love I know Jesus has for me, even though I do still have nights of private tears.

I join with your other bloggy friends here in encouraging you, expressing deep and unwavering appreciation and support for what you do, and you do it so well and so uniquely. I join with your other friends in hearting what you do here, and in hearting the heart which shows so clearly in all you share here.


Nancy December 16, 2011 at 9:19 am

Hi Craig – I have just in the past few days stumbled onto your blog from somewhere(?). Wow. Thank you so much for writing so transparently and honestly. I suffer so from women’s insensitivity and just plain meanness. 99% of friends I have made over the last 60 years have found one reason or another to end the friendship, one even after almost 30 years of being forever friends. I am wounded, trying to forgive, to let go. I feel so much for your hurt. So glad to see you you are still writing. Don’t ever stop.


Craig December 17, 2011 at 10:15 am

Nancy, please forgive how long it’s taken for me to reply to your comment. It’s been a long and way too dark week. Wherever you found me from, I’m thankful you did. And transparent, and honest, sometimes I worry now that I am too much so. Sunshine and rainbows is easier to read, but sunshine and rainbows isn’t real life. When I began blogging I decided to take all masks off – they still are off – I’m getting used to it now. I get your woundedness – I share it with you – you probably know that already. Forgiving, forgetting, that is being like our Lord. I want nothing more than to be like our Lord. Thank you for your compassion. I will not stop writing – this is part of something very important to me. Again, thank you for not only reading, but taking the time to say such nice things. God bless and keep you.


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