In which bleak yesterday finds answers

by Craig on December 8, 2011

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When I’m on target I think and move, following two guiding lights…Bible…and Love.
So the answers to bleak yesterday spill out on both Love and Scripture today.

As for yesterday…
They were only words…
cruel, not meant for me to hear…
still sharp enough to slice clear through.

And if you missed bleak yesterday…
It’s here…dark…not unimportant
and to a man…embarrassing to admit it happened.

My first instinct?
Always to isolate, curl up tight.
And for a little while…
when it was fresh…
I did.

But then I didn’t.

There has been a bit of growth…
and I thank Our Lord for it…
and I thank you all for it.

Yesterday I was reduced…

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…but not alone.

I asked for advice…
some came in comments…
most in email…
some hard to hear…
all said with love.

You, the Father’s hands…feet…heartbeat…
A sheath of friendship…and iron to sharpen iron.

And I spent time with my closest friend…our closest Friend.

And he confirms what was so true yesterday…

The just act as guides to their friends… (Pr 12:26)

And He tells me… pour it all out…rein it all in.

And it seems contradiction…
but it’s paradox…

 

don't think about this too hard or your brain will dissapear ツ

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…seemingly impossible…
but deeper in…
Pure…correct…true.

Excess but in control…
pour it all out…
rein it all in.

And he tells me this…

Whoever overlooks an offense fosters friendship (PR 17:9)

My words, over-exuberant, not seeking to offend – but they offended.

And I tell Him…

You know how being an open book is totally novel to me…
how trusting in anyone but You is new to me…
how hard to injure this heart was when it was closed…
but how it bleeds now that it’s open.

You know my intentions,
But I need to know, don’t I…
that it’s not only what I present…
it’s also what others perceive.

You know my life has been one of blinders on…
thinking that with eyes closed I stay hidden…and safe…
but it turns out that mostly I just can’t see if I close my eyes.

I can’t control if my offense is overlooked, but I can choose to overlook their offense, can’t I?

You were offended…
good intentions trampled to dust by dancers to a different song.

Of course, you’re God…you understand…
but you also understand…
because you. know. human. frailty…
You lived unbroken but frail among the broken and frail.

You were misunderstood.
Strange, I say I want to be like you…
but then I don’t want that.

She was understandably unsettled wasn’t she?
She looked to friends for answers…
and friends rallied.

It’s exactly what I did.

Different friends…
more noble…
imperfect, but more like love…
broken, but more like You.

And the rest of the answers to bleak yesterday are over on Deep into Love today…would you consider going there by clicking here?

{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

Dawn December 8, 2011 at 8:47 am

Dear Craig,

Perfect! I am watching you respond to show me how to respond in my difficult situation (which you know). This is beautiful.

Dawn

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Craig December 8, 2011 at 11:17 am

thank you Dawn, it wouldn’t have been possible to get to this point without friends who came to my rescue with their words and hearts. I think I owe you an e-mail. And yes, I know, just finished praying for it. God bless you Dawn.

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Sylvia December 8, 2011 at 9:26 am

Yes. Beautiful, and victorious. Not without lingering hurt, but victorious.

“good intentions trampled to dust by dancers to a different song…”
“You were misunderstood. Strange, I say I want to be like you…but then I don’t want that…”

Such precious insights.
God bringing beauty out of ashes already!

Blessings.

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Craig December 8, 2011 at 11:21 am

Sylvia, no, not without lingering hurt –and possible future problems – and not nearly victorious as it seems – but the tortoise and the hare. I think I’ll have to read my own posts a number of times today – and for a while. You know? He always has, so why do I ever doubt that he always will bring beauty out of the ashes? Oh me of little faith. God bless you my friend.

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Sylvia December 8, 2011 at 11:57 am

No, I know what you mean–truly! But, though you can’t see it through the dark cloud still hovering, there definitely is beauty there already, in your words and insights.
God bless.
Prayers,

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Craig December 9, 2011 at 10:28 am

Sylvia, thank you – just thank you.

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Martha Orlando December 8, 2011 at 2:37 pm

“Pour it out. Rein it in” . . .
The Healer is at work so wonderfully, so powerfully in you right now. You were hurt by careless, thoughtless words, but your writing, your words, will mend your broken heart in time as our Father continues to guide you.
God bless you, Craig!

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Craig December 9, 2011 at 10:30 am

Martha, the Healer is doing his job, trust me, the Enemy is doing his too. There’s more stuff piled on – and I just need to keep looking up, keep wanting his will, keep asking for his will – the words come easily – the doing is the challenge. Thank you Martha, and God bless you my friend.

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A. December 16, 2011 at 12:13 am

Craig, you are sharing such wisdom and insight already in your reflections on your blogs. Oh the pain, and oh, the gain of this world, so heart-wrenching at times, yes? Nevertheless, the pain is very real and so I add my hugs to those others which are being sent your way, my hugs and my prayers,

A.

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Craig December 17, 2011 at 10:32 am

A, the virtual hugs I needed, still. Still processing, still praying, and you know more than anyone with the exception of Debbie how this brings back old things… Bunnies. Thank you A, my friend.

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