In which I hang on and keep going

by Craig on January 10, 2014

cat is this you too? 【°_o】 – and because funny cat pictures are…funny ツ


Really really hard to do anything at all right now.
It’s tough, but I’m not the only one it’s tough for.

If it’s not tough for you, relish it!
If it is, and has been, I get it… I do.

So little in life brings me joy in this season. I’ll be frank, virtually nothing does. Things just haven’t been the same since those 7 days with no sleep. So I figure I should keep going for one thing that does bring me joy…

digging deeply into things of God.

And on Deep into Love I translated the hymn Panis Angelicus.
It’s part of a much larger hymn – only one a section gets sung at Christmas.

So I’m thinking, since the translation of it is bringing me joy, it might sprinkle some joy on whomever happens to by pass by.

It’s in my head…
and on scribbles of paper…
but scribbles and thoughts are not prose.

I’ll be writing it here as it becomes what it should be.

Which will be really soon. 【◠‿◠】


miss you guys

{ 19 comments… read them below or add one }

A. January 11, 2014 at 8:04 am

Craig, I am really glad you are working hard to take care of yourself. I am praying for your recovery, too. I don’t know what you have experienced because I have never gone 7 days without sleep, but I can imagine it must be very disorienting, and that must be its own kind of awful. Thank you for taking the time to share with us here. As others have said, you really do have a gift for connecting, and a gift for a very unique style of writing, as well. And, hug Laska for me, too. Blessings, just rich blessings, friend.


Craig January 19, 2014 at 4:45 am

first, sorry I’m so late in replying. Everything really is a struggle. Even faith – but I’ll never stop believing. A gift for connecting? Not quite so sure of that. But thank you for your kind words – they’ve always been so kind. I just hugged Laska for you. He was sleeping. He didn’t seem to mind. Blessings to you to “A”.


Layla Payton January 11, 2014 at 9:47 am

My heart would’ve stopped if it hadn’t lept for joy at seeing this post come up in my email! I. AM. SO. HAPPY!!! I’m not happy that you are suffering, but to see you here again…happy. Please know that ANYTHING from you, a verse, a photo, ANYTHING is a gift to your friends. Don’t feel overwhelmed with having to post detailed content.

This has been my hardest year as well. In fact, I came very close to not making it, so I want you to know that I’m familiar with that rabbit hole. I’m here for you, friend. No topic is too messy or too big (or small). No shame. No guilt or judgement. Only love.

WE LOVE YOU, Craig!!!


Layla Payton January 11, 2014 at 9:50 am

P.S. Not having joy…yeah, I so get that.

Keep going. We are here, and joy is too, though not in feeling, perhaps. But I still see it in you. The joy of The Lord is still coming through.


Craig January 19, 2014 at 3:36 pm

God’s joy, that bigger than the universe joy, the one that’s quiet, I DO still have that. I’m sorry this year has been tough for you. I know it’s always a struggle. I just said a prayer for you. From my rabbit hole to yours, God bless and keep Layla!


Sylvia R January 11, 2014 at 10:39 am

Ohmagosh! I am so glad to see something from/by you! (in other words, you, making an appearance.) I have prayed for you often. (So this is an answered-prayer hallelujah!) Will keep praying. Looking forward to the hymn. (Going there next.) I love ancient music.

God bless you and keep you!


Craig January 19, 2014 at 3:39 pm

Sylvia, just so you know, Panis Angelicus, although written by Aquinas, was put to music by someone named Cesar Franck, I think in the 1700s, so although the words are ancient, the music isn’t. It’s the combination of the two I think that get to me. Thank you so much for stopping by after so many months of silence from me. God bless and keep!


Martha Orlando January 11, 2014 at 11:54 am

You’re back!!!!! I’ve been so worried about you, dear Craig, and praying, too. Now I’m simply overwhelmed with joy that my favorite, and I mean FAVORITE, blogger is writing again. May God fill you with joy today and every day, my friend!
And, yes, we all love you!


Craig January 19, 2014 at 3:41 pm

right now, Martha, it’s so hard for me to believe anything positive at all about myself. To hear your comments, well, it means so much. Hopefully soon I’ll be able to really accept them, but just the words themselves, right now, mean so much, thank you for them. God bless!!


willow January 11, 2014 at 1:13 pm

Thank you for refreshing our spirits and giving hope that we will hear from you again. Your grandma loves you and prays for you daily.


Craig January 19, 2014 at 3:42 pm

someone’s grandson ツ


Katie January 11, 2014 at 2:35 pm

Did you do that to Laska? Just kidding I know you wouldn’t to precious Laska.

Craig you are and have been in a HARD place. Keep going and keep taking care of yourself. You are missed, but I understand hard. I have and am in hard situations.

I thought of the series you did on the lies you/we tell ourselves just this past week, when I realized I was listening to a lie instead of God’s truth about myself, so my one word: worth, I am worth it.


Craig January 19, 2014 at 3:45 pm

you ARE worth it. I don’t feel so much worth it right now, but I know that’s not real, the feeling is, the fact is not. I know YOU know what that means. Those darned negative thoughts. And of course I didn’t do that to Laska, he only uses the bathtub as his personal water fountain, I’ve not had to resort to giving him a bath. Hopefully never. Thank you Katie. God bless, and I just finished a pair for your hard situation.


Debbie January 11, 2014 at 4:17 pm

I almost didn’t save this, thinking it was something else, someone else. But God! He led me to open it and to hear you are still with us. I , too, have thought of you and prayed for you so often, but understand why you couldn’t blog. Craig, I am cheering you on now, each day, whether you post or not. It seems like a lot of us are in a hard place of some sort or another and you reappearing to share what you can with us is a God thing. Love and prayers!!


Felecia January 11, 2014 at 4:34 pm

As always, Craig, my heart sings when I hear from you.


Kristin January 12, 2014 at 5:09 pm

A lot of people are glad to see you back! :) Keep writing and we’ll keep praying.
Bless you~


Glenna January 13, 2014 at 1:30 pm

I have wondered and wondered if you were ok or what had happened to you
Glad to see you are blogging hoping things are ok


Michelle January 14, 2014 at 3:22 am

Craig, just so glad to hear from you. I actually found the devotion book you had written (and sent to me) and was wondering …… praying ……. hoping that you were ok. You may not be ok (who is), but you have surfaced to let us know you are in the land of the living …… maybe existing? ….. And I, for one among many, am glad to see your name come up.

I will keep praying with the others for you.


Andrea Dawn April 8, 2014 at 6:49 pm

Dear Craig, I have checked back often to see if you had surfaced. Not finding anyone home I would sow some seeds of hope in the empty plot, water it with prayer and tears. How delightful to know you remain in the land of the living and have picked up your pen (so to speak) once again. Thanking God for His unfailing kindness and anticipating the glorious return of joy in full measure to your life.


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