My 100’s list

February 5, 2011

Here is more about me than even my family knows.

There’s puppy dogs and ice cream in it for you if you make it down to 100.

1. I have been crushed, and pieced back together by a God who never once delighted in the crushing, and who knows where every piece belongs.

2. I have a Masters Degree in Theological Studies from Covenant Seminary in St. Louis MO. It’s just letters after my name. I garnered a lot of head knowledge – the heart knowledge took more time and came without letters.

3. By practically every standard of wordly success – I am not one.

4. But God’s standards are different. It took a while, but I think he smiles now. I used to get a lot of the shaking of the head.

5. Every project always takes me twice as long as I think it will. You’d think by now I’d consider that when planning. Nope.

6. I used to think I knew everything – but everything turned out to be far more comprehensive than I originally thought.

7. I had a pet snail for a couple of days when I was 7ish. I stole him from a barrel outside a fish store in Brooklyn. He disappeared suddenly. I suspect he was someone’s snack – not namin’ names.

8. My body doesn’t sleep – even when it’s unconscious. I haven’t slept through the night for 13 years. Lots of doctors – apparently no cure. But everybody has their own cross to bear. It is what it is. No big.

9. The name of the cat who saved my life was Froofy. Froofy the Miracle Cat.

10. My faith is as strong as it is, because my doubt was as strong as it was.

11. I don’t take orders or ultimatums well.

12. I sold my old Ford Tempo to a man who said he really needed a car. He didn’t have the money. We wrote up a bill of sale, I gave him my title, and he promised (in the bill of sale) to pay over the next two months. He waved as he drove away.

13. You can guess how that story ended. Apparently anybody could. Strange how I was the only person who couldn’t.

14. I think that if someone doesn’t occasionally catch me seemingly talking to myself, when in fact I’m chatting with God, I’m not praying enough.

15. I’m the strangest mix of bravery and timidity.

16. I talk too much, and don’t listen enough, but I’m getting better. I’m sorry, did you say something?

17. I have never been married and sometimes I’m sad about it.

18. I think moms are truly magnificent. The more of them I read the more in awe I stand.

19. I think about everything, everywhere, all the time.

20. I heart chocolate milk, but the kind from Nestles Quick not the syrup stuff.

21. Favorite all time TV show – Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

22. I’ve played the penniless Sitar player opposite Nicole Kidman in the Movie Moulin rouge far, far, far too many times.

23. I don’t get lawn gnomes. Seriously, aren’t they kind of creepy?

24. I love seeing pictures of me, but shy away whenever I see a camera lens.

25. I heart Joan of Arc (she was slaying demons long before Buffy)

26. I have the culinary taste of an eight year old boy (in case you invite me over for dinner)

27. Spinach grosses me out, ditto broccoli, cauliflower, asparagus, and most of the “adult” vegetables.

28. I never text, but I know enough texting to say, “PP 4COL STPP TXTM – JCM – IYKWIMAITYD, I h8 it. NUFF.” (If you need the translation – you can tweet me, email me, or text me – or maybe not that last one)

29. I love to eat a big plate of spaghetti – and keep eating and eating and eating until I start saying…must…finish…spaghetti (more fun if it’s with my sister)

30. My sister is more like me than she’d like to admit (although I kind of understand that).

31. My favorite movie of all time is Mulholland Drive, it’s deep, brooding, dark, and not very Christian – but reminds me to deal with internal monsters before they deal with you.

32. I cry every time Dorothy kisses the Scarecrow goodbye. I’m fine with the Lion, and the Tin Man – but oh, that goodbye to the Scarecrow.

33. I cry every time I watch It’s a Wonderful Life. You know, when they’re bringing in all the money at the end of the movie, and after helping so many, George Bailey finally gets helped.

34. I like looking at nature, like forests, and oceans – but don’t like being in nature, like forests and oceans.

35. I once, unknowingly, picked up a murderer who was hitch-hiking – yes a real murderer – three times a murderer.

36. He had gum on his shoe. I had printouts of things I was writing on the floor of the car. He apologized for the mess. He said, “But you’re a writer! I have something for you.” He reached in his backpack.

37. Yeah, this really happened. He handed me a cd. He told me that it explained the whole government conspiracy – the reason he was on the run.

38. I only found out he was wanted for murder because when I got home I clicked on the Fox News website. And there was his picture. I called my brother the cop. He told me to call the local police, and hand over the cd – and NOT to put it in my computer.

39. I half kiddingly bantered with the officer when he showed up, “You’re not part of the conspiracy are you?” He looked at me for a second, put on his sun glasses, and drove off. Now we’ll never know.

40. I try not to pick up murderers anymore.

41. I was told in 7th Grade by the queen bee of the school, not to let my hair hang down over my eyes because – wait for it…”Your eyes are your only good feature.” I didn’t get that it was an insult until ten years later.

42. I’m still waiting for that growth spurt my mom always said would happen. Genetics people! Genetics!

43. My mom bought me the story book “The Wait for me Kitten” because – well – I was always late.

44. It backfired. I identified with the cute little kitty, and how he always said, “Wait for meeeeeee! Wait for meeeeee!”

45. It’s a cautionary tale to parents about being too clever for your own good.

46. I like plain vanilla ice cream – so sue me.

47. The best thing I have ever done is make sure my mom knew the way to heaven.

48. The second best was taking care of my baby sister until I gave her away to her husband.

49. I don’t know how to belch – even fake belch.

50. I think one of the best things about God is that he is so big, creating and sustaining a universe and more – and gets small enough to care if I’m having a bad day.

51. And he’s big enough to do something about it.

52. I’ve been a handful for God. I kicked, and screamed, and moved when he said ‘still’, and froze when he said ‘move’, and ran away while demanding he keep his hands on me.

53. And he kept his hands on me.

54. Beds should make themselves. Honestly, it’s not that hard!

55. I like putting so much sugar on cereal that you can scrape big splotches of sweetness off the bottom of the bowl.

56. I love me some sugar.

57. When I have a stack of pancakes I cut a little hole in the middle and pour the syrup in. Then when I need more syrup, in it goes. The hole keeps enlarging as pancakes shrink. Makes my sister shake her head every time.

58. Confession: when I was 7 my mom sent me to the store, I heard a kitten hiding in an alley along the way. It was raining. He was hungry. I used the money to buy him a slice of pizza. He ate it voraciously and I stayed with him until he fell asleep.

59. I told my mom a bunch of kids stole the money. Sorry mom.

60. He wasn’t there the next day when I brought him a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

61. Speaking of kittens, I got my first one in 3rd grade. My teacher had a kitten giveaway, all that was required was a note from our parents.

62. I forged the note, never once thinking about how I would explain said kitty until I arrived home that night – with two.adorable.kittens.

63. But I’m older now and think maybe I should’ve done it differently – maybe.

64. I voted for the first George Bush – you can start doing the math now.

65. I’ve never been tall. dark, or handsome.

66. Although graduating from Seminary I didn’t become a pastor. My gifts far exceeded my character. I now know that character is better than gifts.

67. My character finally caught up with the gifts – but then came the sleep thing.

68. In the 11 years between 2nd and 12th grade I went to 8 different schools. It was very confusedme – err – confusing.

69. As a child living in Brooklyn I couldn’t see stars at night. But I noticed that the concrete had sparkles in it. I thought it was nice of the city to put stars in the sidewalk.

70. I played trumpet in the school band, I wasn’t that good. It soon became clear to me that I would never be able to pass all the good trumpeters ahead of me.

71. Then I looked at the French Horn Section – only 4 of them – much better odds.

72. I finished my High School musical career as the 1st French Horn player. Top of the musical food chain. If you can’t beat the big fish – just try a smaller pond.

73. When I’m depressed I watch Anna Karenina – the poor thing. You keep on thinking, “It has to get better for her. It has to get better for her” but…

74. I was tied to my desk in 4th grade by Sister Annunciata. I asked if I could try to get out. She said she wouldn’t. The story did not end well.

75. When I’m watching things on tv with others I like talking about it – not a single person in my family approves of this sort of conduct.

76. It doesn’t stop me from gabbing.

77. I doubt myself tons, but cover it up nearly perfectly with bravado.

78. I am not me without God in me.

79. I don’t like the word “Christ” – It goes back to my childhood days in Brooklyn, way before I even knew who Our Lord was. Every adult I knew used it as a curse word. “Jesus Christ!” It was something I knew NOT to say.

80. When I read “Christ” in my Bible I automatically sub it with “Messiah”, “Lord”, “Our Lord” – or the like – makes me feel better.

81. I love God. I love his church. I struggle to actually go to church though, to get out of my own private “just you and me God” bubble, and connect.

82. I’ve been Christian for 26 years now, graduated from Seminary, and have spent only 7 years as a church member. I was intimately connected to God all along. That’s all I needed. Right? Wrong.

83. Only when I was homeless – I guess that should be one of these numbers – only then, in a study of ancient church history did I discover finally that what I called “freelance” Christianity was never the plan. It has always been about connection with our brothers and sisters in Our Lord. I missed that boat entirely. I’m now learning to connect. It’s hard.

84. Studying ancient church history is what all homeless people do right?

85. I like pistachios – but my thumbnail gets sore from splitting them open when I eat too many at one sitting.

86. I always eat too many at one sitting.

87. I used to like the roadrunner, but as an adult I identify more with Wile. E. Coyote.

88. I always thought Tom, from Tom and Jerry, you know, the cat – I always thought he got the short end of the stick.

89. I realize, of course, that if either he or the coyote if he ever did “win” in an episode – there would be no more cartoon. So I kinda get it – but still don’t like it.

90. I will always be indebted to “mommie bloggers” for teaching me how to line up my words like bunny prints in the snow instead of squares of concrete on the sidewalk.

91. I never had a tattoo. I hate pain. If I ever get one – it’ll be a dot.

92. I love hot tea, in something ceramic, with a handle, and enough whole fat milk in it to make it a light tan color, AND about 1.5 tons of sugar.

93. My natural bent is to be self centered, whiny, impatient, doubtful, oversensitive, undisciplined, rebellious…but then God.

94. I heart twitter – don’t heart facebook so much. People who follow tweets, well, they really do follow your tweets. People who “friend” you – seriously, are they really friends?

95. I think “please” at the beginning of almost any request makes it better.

96. I find it fascinating that if someone sees a Happy Meal they don’t assume it was made by a random smashing together of atoms – someone had to make it. But the whole universe? Oh, that just happened, all by itself.

97. If I don’t keep reminding myself that this journey really is the destination, that the now is important to be in, I get lost somewhere between dreaming and depression.

98. Now is the only thing that actually is. God is in and all over the now. The past is gone. The future isn’t real – yet. Literally, God’s name is “I am”. He is, by title, “He Who Is”.

99. And in that “which is” we live and move and have our being. Whether we admit it or not.

100. Ergo…God is the number one thing.

The puppie dogs and ice cream are down the hall and to the left.

{ 26 comments… read them below or add one }

sandee February 26, 2011 at 4:14 pm

Isn’t Ann’s book (and blog) awesome? Thanks for the little comment. I enjoyed your list of 100. :) #81.82,83….I struggled through the years with the way we in America “do church”. :) Recently my kids and I found a home fellowship…(church that meets in a home) and…whew!…what a difference. Funny thing, I looked for one for several years, and could not find one..then God stumbled me across one last year.

I went to 10 schools (4 different states) in 2nd thru 12th, so I can relate. Made me the chatter box… Blessings!


Craig February 26, 2011 at 4:20 pm

Yes, Ann is amazing. Ann changed the way I write. A “house church” I may look into that.

And I guess I became a chatterbox for the same reasons – and an introverted extrovert :)

Blessings to you too – and thank you for reading – wow – all the way to the invisible puppy dogs and ice cream:)


Susan March 4, 2011 at 2:15 pm

Enjoyed reading your list. #21 and 92, right on! :-)

Grace and peace,


Craig March 4, 2011 at 2:22 pm

Wow – those two things place us both in the upper 1.5% of some list somewhere. Thank you for reading – and not lodging a complaint with customer service about – you know – the missing dogs and ice cream. Grace and peace to you too!!


Michelle March 9, 2011 at 3:05 pm

Thank you for visiting my blog! So nice to “meet” you, virtually speaking. I enjoyed your 100’s list. I can relate to #12 because I too had a Ford Tempo and sold it. Except, I sold it for $1.00, and got paid, to a friend who was in need. It felt good. Then later in life, when my husband and I were in need, we were given an ’86 Chevy Scottsdale. It was a God thing. We recently gave that truck to another family who needed a second vehicle; and the gift keeps going. I can also relate to #91, I have NO tattoos and NEVER will. Mostly because of my fear of pain. Loved your list, thank you for being so transparent.


Craig March 9, 2011 at 3:15 pm

My first thought about the Tempos was – “Well then – you’re $499 ahead of me” But then I did the math – and the math was wrong – then realized my heart was wrong – and you really come up infinity better than me – because I heart what you did. Thank you for reading all the way down. And I really am sorry about being all out of ice cream and puppy dogs. God Bless.


Michelle March 9, 2011 at 9:38 pm

Oh no, I’m so sorry. I did not mean to sound boastful at all. I am NOT infinitely better than anyone! I’m sorry my comment read that way. I didn’t mean it too.


Craig March 9, 2011 at 9:44 pm

Michelle – not to worry – not to worry at all!!!!! I was just saying I hearted what you did. Your comment didn’t read “boastful” one little bitl!!!!

I’m smiling as I type this. That’s a non-verbal – and it doesn’t come across very well when we write. I guess that’s why we use these :). I was being light-hearted. I loved your comment. God Bless :)


ginny March 19, 2011 at 2:35 pm

your list is inspiring :) i am tempted to draft my own, but i don’t know if i have the guts to post it! #96 is awesome.. i may have to quote you :) a secret about #91.. in my career as an RN i have taken care of numerous men with tooth:tattoo ratios of about 1:5 (seriously), and every one of them cringe when i break out the needles! as for me…i cringe at the thought of a needle going in and out of my skin at rapid speeds just so i can have a picture of something that really doesn’t look so hot after gravity and loss of elasticity take effect.

thank you for your kind words on my gratitude list. ann is definitely an amazing writer who is influencing more people than she will ever know this side of eternity.

blessings on your day and in your life and in your journey home.


Craig March 19, 2011 at 2:41 pm

Ginny – the effects of gravity on tatoos – I never thought of that before – there’s one – maybe two or three already for your 100’s list – you have experience listing thank you’s now – so a hundred’s list shouldn’t be so bad :)God bless you. and thank you – and sorry for the lack of puppy dogs – Laska the love kitty still has issues :)


Tracy March 21, 2011 at 12:09 am

Fun getting to “know” you better. A great 100 things list!


Tina April 8, 2011 at 7:12 am

A wonderful list indeed Craig! Number 10 was really good and number 35…wow! But my favorite is 47, I relate in regards to teaching my children.


God Bless!


Tina April 8, 2011 at 7:13 am

PS. I am not that good of a texter b/c I have no idea what that text was….and thank you for the offer of puppies, I will decline as I have one who keeps me plenty busy these days! :)


Craig April 8, 2011 at 10:26 am

Oh, the translation of the text ““PP 4COL STPP TXTM – JCM – IYKWIMAITYD, I h8 it. NUFF.” – is – “People! For crying out loud, stop texting me, just call me. If you know what I mean and I think you do, I hate it! Enough said!” (◠‿◠)

Thank you for reading this Tina – and the puppies – it’s good you’re not needing any – I’ve run out of them myself – I have ninja kittens though!!!! God bless you – and thank you again.


Hillcrest Cottage April 16, 2011 at 10:38 am

Craig… I stumbled upon your blog. Then, I read your 100 things list. Which, btw, was very entertaining. It made me want to know about your books. How can I find them, and what are their titles?
God is telling me that you need to connect with my husband who is also a writer. He just wrote a book about:
The Christian Zombie Killers Handbook: Slaying the Living Dead Within
(I tried to send the link from Amazon but, apparently, I am not able to do so).
Anyway… several things you have written from vampires to house churches to not liking “church” to being very theological ( my husband has a ThM from DTS) intrigued me. I said, “This guy needs to connect with my husband.”
I hope that’s not weird… but that’s how we make friends in Blog-ville.
Now… I’m gonna go hit the “follow” button.


Craig April 17, 2011 at 6:38 pm

Ruh roh – I didn’t say on my 100 list I had books published did I? No – just some magazine articles and a little booklet – you know – one of those “Daily Bread” type booklets you find in a church. ANd send your hubs my way so we can “meet” – sounds just like the kind of out of the box Christian I like. Sorry it took till today to respond – I’ve been moving. God Bless and keep you – and I peeked at your blog too – and thank you.


Layla Payton June 26, 2011 at 5:12 pm

I totally laughed out loud at #91!!! Craig, this was AWESOME!

Your comment about mommy bloggers & bunny prints was endearing. :)

I thought this was just fantastic. I might steal this idea for my homeschool blog. I don’t know if I could come up with 100 things that would keep people interested enough to keep reading to the end. You did. Excellent.

One comment about Facebook: I have made the most amazing, REAL friends on there. The trick is to get out and MEET the ones you have never met in person (you may not want to meet up with murderers…but that’s just me). 😉 Also, if you want to know me better…Facebook.

My favorite ice cream is vanilla.


Craig June 27, 2011 at 2:01 pm

I am a wimp when it comes to pain like #91. Thank you, as always, Layla, for your gracious words. Go ahead and steal whatever you’d like – if it’s going to you – I feel confident it’s going to a good cause. And once you get on a roll – the hundred seems like too small of a number – trust me – it’s easy once you get rolling – it’s like writing a letter. And it doesn’t all have to be done in one sitting. And sooner or later I’ll probably get involved with Facebook – but right now only so much time – Twitter is a controllable use of time – but I think I could get lost on Facebook – I know people who do – and I don’t have the time for that. I’ll get to know you just fine by reading your words. It’s the stuff that gets written in blogs that truly reveals people. Thank you again Layla, and God bless you!

PS – and Amen – vanilla is awesome!


Layla Payton June 28, 2011 at 9:26 pm

You are right, you can get lost in Facebook.

Thanks for your kindness. :) Oh, and letting me steal your idea. 😀


Stacy October 3, 2011 at 2:35 pm

Came over from Ann’s today. I enjoyed reading your list. I can so identify with #1 & 3 and unfortunately #11 as well. I also struggle with going to church and I love those cartoons. Us introverts have a lot more in common with other folks than we realize! Have a blessed day!


Craig October 3, 2011 at 3:39 pm

oh, numbers one and three, those are rough – I wish you didn’t share them in common. But I’m honored to be in your company. and number 11? Duly noted ツ. and I wonder if your little like me about the “introvert” stuff – I’m an extroverted introvert – or introverted extrovert – I have known that since childhood. Anyway, thank you very much for reading – and thank you very much for finding me – and leaving this comment – so now I can find my way back to you – and read you. God bless and keep you and each and every one of yours Stacy.


Shelli October 31, 2011 at 12:52 am

Craig… I stumbled upon your blog. Then, I read your 100 things list. Which, btw, was very entertaining. It made me want to know about your books. How can I find them, and what are their titles?
God is telling me that you need to connect with my husband who is also a writer. He just wrote a book about:
The Christian Zombie Killers Handbook: Slaying the Living Dead Within
(I tried to send the link from Amazon but, apparently, I am not able to do so).
Anyway… several things you have written from vampires to house churches to not liking “church” to being very theological ( my husband has a ThM from DTS) intrigued me. I said, “This guy needs to connect with my husband.”
I hope that’s not weird… but that’s how we make friends in Blog-ville.
Now… I’m gonna go hit the “follow” button.



Craig November 19, 2011 at 1:50 pm

Shelli, thank you for your kind words about my100’s list. And I don’t have any books – yet. What you see here is pretty much what I write. If your hubs is on twitter – I’d heart if both you and he followed me – just let me know who you are – twitter gets busy – sometimes I won’t follow someone back unless I know who they are. I’ll of course follow back. I’d heart considering you and your hubs bloggy freinds. God bless and keep you and each of yours.

and sorry I’m so late in responding to your comment – it got trapped in my spam blocker – and I only rescued it today.


Tobi December 8, 2011 at 3:40 pm

I smiled or laughed through your entire 100 list. Mostly because I think and write with such a similar voice. My family is in a “new” place, not being connected in a church here in Germany where we are stationed. We are still connected to our community in Washington D.C. but all of our worship and fellowship has been a gathering around our table. It has been rich to discover brotherhood/sisterhood in Christ with our children. And I have found countless brothers and sisters through blogs. I claim Ann as a mentor, right up there with St. Teresa of Avila and Bonhoeffer right now. I haven’t taken the twitter leap, only the blog one, but when I do I’ll heart you! Thank you for your authentic voice.


Craig December 9, 2011 at 10:25 am

Tobi, thank you – and it’ll be nice having a male voice around here. And I think fellowship around the table is how everything got started. No? And Ann – amen kind of like Teresa of Avila — we share that thought in regard. I’ll swing by the blog soon. God bless you my friend.


Tobi December 9, 2011 at 3:28 pm

Sorry to disappoint about the voice Craig, but I’m a woman. Smile. Didn’t want to startle you when you stopped by my blog. God bless you as well.


Leave a Comment