In which ancient is retold in “technicolor” ™

by Craig on August 10, 2011


If there is one moment that, for most of us, sums up the history of Israel, it’s this…

The time when Charlton Heston freed the Israelites from the tyranny of Yul Brenner, the Pharoah of Egypt.


That’s the one.

I remember well how Charlton Heston had killed Vincent Price in anger.


He was exiled to the desert where he met and fell in love with Yvonne DeCarlo,


before she met Herman Munster.


While in this exile he talked with himself by the burning bush…


Charlton Heston talked to himself…
not God….
a fact in the history of Israel that few know…
Charlton Heston was not only Moses, but also the actual voice of God.

Although there isn’t actual footage of the time when Charlton Heston argued with God about being the spokesman for Israel, we know from the Bible that Charlton Heston told God he wasn’t a good enough orator. This always confused me.

After all, he was Charlton Heston for goodness sakes!
And he talked circles around Yul Brenner…
and he didn’t have that strange King of Siam accent that the Pharoah had either.


Charlton and his brother, John Carradine, go back to Egypt and free the people. But along with the people came Edward G. Robinson.


A notorious snake with a criminal background…


– running gangs, bootlegging, robbing banks and such.

He convinced everyone to build the golden calf while Charlton Heston was away talking to himself talking with God. When God Charlton Heston told Moses Charlton Heston, to go back down the mountain because there was a party going on he took the 15 commandments, all 15 of them, on three tablets, down with him.

But then he dropped one tablet so we have ten commandments…


that wasn’t Charlton Heston – that was Mel Brooks…
and that isn’t fact…
that was just a comedy.


Charlton Heston comes down the mountain and throws the tablets on the party and they explode killing a bunch of people – and they learn their lesson.




and back to reality now…

There is a moment just as big as escaping from Egypt…
one that’s important for “the fullness of time”…
It was the Exile.

If you don’t know much about the Exile, don’t worry, nobody does. When I hit the books at the Seminary Library to research it, among the volumes of 10 inch thick books, I found two little paperbacks on the subject.

It never gets a lot of attention…

but For Israel, the Exile was the most critical of all their many crises…

Jeremiah told them more than 500 years before Our Lord was born…

and although we don’t have actual footage of this…

it’s in our Bible…

so not to worry…

He wrote:

Therefore, days are coming—oracle of the LORD—when it will no longer be said, “As the LORD lives, who brought the Israelites out of Egypt”; but rather, “As the LORD lives, who brought the Israelites out of the land of the north and out of all the countries to which he had banished them.” I will bring them back to the land I gave their ancestors. (JER 16:14,15)

And tomorrow – a little more on the Exile…

with no actors…

and how Exile shaped Israel for the “fullness of time”…

please come back.

{ 20 comments… read them below or add one }

Martha Orlando August 10, 2011 at 10:51 am

Clever, entertaining, humorous, and informative! Loved this, Craig; keep ’em coming! :)



Craig August 10, 2011 at 3:17 pm

thank you Martha, I smiled the whole way through writing this. It was one of the easier things I’ve written. (the pictures took longer to find than the writing) Tomorrow will be more serious – because it wasn’t the Israelites focusing on Moses that were encountered by Jesus – it was the Israelites still reeling from the Exile. It explains a lot – and seldom gets explained. Anyway, thank you very much Martha – and God bless you!


Nancy August 10, 2011 at 9:00 pm

This just cracked me up. My favorite part of The Ten Commandments? Seeing the law written in Roman numerals. Roman! Before there ever was a Rome!

Looking forward to your thoughts on the exile. Much there we can all relate to, I think.


Craig August 11, 2011 at 12:49 pm

I never caught that Nancy – the 10 months – written in Roman numerals – interesting ツand the exile – seriously I looked through an entire seminary library of books – and found two. Tiny. Paperbacks. The exile doesn’t get enough attention – and it was a critical moment – and lots to be learned from it too. God bless you Nancy – and thank you


brian August 10, 2011 at 10:59 pm

you know it is often the tough times that shape us the most…

and loved the opening of this…too funny…


Craig August 11, 2011 at 12:50 pm

that is so true Brian – maybe it’s because during the tough times we’re listening the closest. Thank you, and God bless you.


Connie@raise your eyes August 10, 2011 at 11:20 pm

I think I’ve seen all of those scenes! Fun how you wove it all in…


Craig August 11, 2011 at 12:51 pm

Connie, of course you’ve seen all those scenes – everybody has! ツ Everybody knows that the definitive Moses was Charlton Heston! And there IS a lot of good history in that movie. Hollywood just doesn’t do that anymore – and likely never will. God bless and keep you Connie – and thank you.


Debbie August 11, 2011 at 12:47 am

This was so funny! Thank you! I need something funny to balance the serious. God bless you as you take us into Exile tomorrow! :)


Craig August 11, 2011 at 12:54 pm

I’ve shared some of the funniest blogs ever with my sister – so she could get a taste of blogging – and some of these bloggers that write so funny all the time – I couldn’t do that. But she encouraged me – and told me that I can actually write both. When things are funny – when they make me laugh – I write them – and they can be funny. And when things are really deep – I heart going there too. I’m glad this made you smile – really I am. God bless you Debbie.


Claudia August 11, 2011 at 3:24 am

so cool – i enjoyed the ride you took us one…very nice


Craig August 11, 2011 at 12:55 pm

Claudia, I thank the director Cecil B DeMille – if he doesn’t make the movie – I can’t make the funny. It was his ride – and before that it was God’s ride – I take very little credit. Thank you very much – and God bless you.


A. August 11, 2011 at 11:22 am

So funny! Favorite funny…Yvonne DeCarlo and Moses love story….before she met Herman Munster. Loved this, and learned.

Agree with Brian.


Craig August 11, 2011 at 8:38 pm

but between you and me A., I always thought Morticia Gomez was much hotter than Mrs. Munster. Had such a crush on Morticia Gomez – the original – not from the movies ツ


Anna August 11, 2011 at 2:46 pm

Entertaining, thank you… especially that Yvonne DeCarlo went from being Mrs. Moses to Mrs. Munster. Come to think of it, I always get the Munsters and the Addams family mixed up.)


Craig August 11, 2011 at 8:42 pm

quite the trade-in. No? From Charlton Heston to Fred Gwynne and beautiful Technicolor to black and white. And just to help you out, Anna, Herman Munster was a Frankenstein – Gomez Addams was a dashing but eccentric human. And I always had a crush on Morticia Gomez – to make it a little more clear for you – Yvonne deCarlo from the Munsters looked like my aunt Muriel from Brooklyn. I hope that clears things up for you ツ God bless and keep you, and thank you Anna.


imperfect prose August 12, 2011 at 2:39 pm

i love how you dig deep, brother, and keep us learning…


Craig August 13, 2011 at 4:46 pm

Emily, thank you of course – all I do is dig and learn – and then share – nothing special – but thank you. And have I mentioned recently how awesome I think it is that you go out of your way to comment on everybody’s post in your linky. Even with the new baby. All that does is just reveal your heart – your big full of love beating heart – that’s all. If I ever make a linky – I’m going to follow your example.


Brandee August 13, 2011 at 7:18 pm

I chuckled. Love it!


Craig August 15, 2011 at 6:00 pm

Brandee, sorry I’m so late responding to your comment – sorry(⌣˛⌣) – thank you for telling me you chuckled. I chuckled a couple of times as I wrote it. Thank you – and God bless and keep.


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