In which there’s something in nothing…and the consequences of sin

by Craig on May 15, 2012

and this metaphor is about the consequences of sinsource

Today, not much Scripture, just the beginnings, I think, of a metaphor.

Mainly because it is a struggle right now to do anything at all of any value.

If you read me you know that for 15 years I have effectively had about three hours of sleep a night. Enough said. No whining today.


Today it’s not the illness…
it’s a new “remedy” – a drug.

It’s why I haven’t read anyone lately…
and why this post is up so late today.

It’s taken about 8 hours…
I think it’s taken about 100 edits…
and a long, long time to find the right pictures…
but honestly, I haven’t much cared to notice the time passing.

It’s the medication. It’s not helping, but it’s having an effect.

It is nearly impossible to think.
It can’t stand without wobbling.
I don’t want to write or talk or try.

What I want most to do…is to do nothing at all.

The thing is, this is the time of my life I most need to try.

This drug is taking away any desire to keep going…
and making me want to lay down, give in, give up…

it's a metaphor...poppy field faith is a consequence of sinsource

like Dorothy…
in the field of poppies…
just short of Emerald City.

It’s not causing depression…
more like intense…apathy…
and that’s a little depressing. ツ

But mostly…





It is leaving me with some desire for diversion.

If I want to do anything at all besides nothing…
It’s doing anything I shouldn’t – or don’t need to do.

Anything I do is bringing no satisfaction…

it's what sin does...promise everything...leave us empty...and guiltysource

and the more I do it, or do nothing…
the more guilt it brings.

I don’t much heart that.

More next time…

For now just these facts…

I’ll be seeing with better eyes…

I’ll pull together this metaphor on the consequences of sin.

Because although I don’t feel it…I know it.
There’s something to see in this.

There’s something to see in everything
in this precarious year I’ve named “see”.

Please come back.

{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

Cora May 15, 2012 at 2:47 pm

Craig, please know I just prayed for you, and will continue to pray for you. I can’t even imagine the place you are in. Know that the Lord is there with you — count on it — even if there are no feelings — just know it to be true. He’s carrying you, just as He would a sleepy, little lamb!


Craig May 15, 2012 at 4:33 pm

It’s ok Cora – it’s not the illness – I think just the “cure” – I’ve got a call into the doctor about not taking the “cure” anymore – and I’m thinking that’ll leave me back at my regular garden variety of feeling bad – and THAT I can deal with – but THIS – oh, if this were to continue – I think I might NOT be able to deal with it. Anyway it’s making for a really nice metaphor – and I’m “seeing”. As Ann says, “All’s Grace.” God bless!!


Sylvia May 16, 2012 at 9:45 am

Eek! That “cure” sounds dreadful! Seems like indeed you need a cure for the cure more than for the illness. I’m with you, in prayer, and hoping your doctor has wisdom to curtail that little experiment!


Craig May 16, 2012 at 12:57 pm

the latest attempt at a “cure” has been dreadful – many of them have been. But there have been successes along the way too – and that’s why I’m still here. Sometimes I get a doctor who, because the case is unique, and because they’re confident, they push possibilities on me – sometimes those that have already been tried, but each one so far, for 15 years has been left admitting there’s nothing more they can do. Most of them don’t think faith at all – some of them think faith, but last – regardless – it’s mine to keep trying – do what I can – and God’s to handle what I can’t – what nobody can. Thank you Sylvia, thank you, and though I haven’t heard back from the doctor yet – I have curtailed the experiment myself. That’s the only way I was able to write this nice long reply to your gracious comment. Yesterday – well – that you about yesterday. God bless and keep you my friend.


Martha Orlando May 16, 2012 at 10:30 am

This new “cure” sounds dreadful!!! I’m glad you have a call into the doctor and that all will be put to right soon. Know I am praying for you, my friend!
May God bless even in these rough days.


Craig May 16, 2012 at 1:01 pm

Martha, the call is been put in, the doctor hasn’t made a definitive choice, but I’ve made the choice anyway. If I hadn’t I wouldn’t be able to write this to you. I have never felt like that in my entire life. Left alone, and without faith, feeling like that – well I could see how that could lead to suicide. Not every medication is a good medication. Anyway, thank you for your prayers – I’m almost back to my normal, “garden-variety, don’t get sleep – but keep on trying” life. God bless and keep you my friend


A. May 16, 2012 at 3:00 pm

Yes, Craig, praying for you as soon as I hit ‘submit’. (and you know what I think of that!:) Glad you are not choosing to continue submitting to taking the medicine!


Craig May 20, 2012 at 6:28 am

well, I guess a certain amount of “submission” is a good thing – but we should never get crazy about submitting to anyone or anything – except ONE. God bless you my friend.


Layla Payton May 20, 2012 at 12:50 am

So glad you kicked that to the curb! Praying for a different solution. Ugh!


Craig May 20, 2012 at 6:29 am

I have just a few cards that I keep – one card was by a woman I know who was moving from one house to another – it was actually from her and her family – and I think I’ll always keep that card – Just sayin. :)


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