in which i disappear

by Craig on June 9, 2012

I had no choice.

It happens once, maybe twice a year.

I fight.

This time it won.

I just slept for 90 minutes.

Before that was 15o or something HOURS without sleep.

i counted.

Some of my mind is back as I write this…only some.

And I remember every slip down the dark tunnel of disappear ,…

With no sleep you lose control – but you don’t lose a memory of it.

I wish I could.

I’m sorry I’ve been gone.

If I get a little more sleep today…If my body lets me stay asleep…just a little while,,,just a little while,,,it has no problem letting me fall asleep…but stay asleep more than 1o minutes at a time…I’ll tell you more…i miss writing for you…i miss you guys…I miss having a brain that can write…I remember every hallucination, every nightmare I had with my eyes open, every shadowy figure in the room, every heartbreaking memory played out in front of my eyes – and I know – none of it was real…

I fought as hard as I could..

.I’ll tell you more…if I just get.some.sleeptoday…some

miss u guys

my last post explains a little – I’ll link.

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Martha Orlando June 10, 2012 at 11:18 am

I love you, too, Craig. Oh, I pray for sleep and sweet dreams for you, my friend. May your heart and mind be filled with the peace of God.
God bless!


Sylvia June 10, 2012 at 12:12 pm

Glad you posted something, Craig — even if it was “hi, I’m here. see ya later.” You’ve been much on my mind, and in my prayers, and it’s just good to “hear” from you. Meanwhile, every ten minutes of sleep you get… well, at least it is ten minutes of sleep. God be much with you in this ordeal!


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