In which there is a dark, dark dream

by Craig on November 2, 2011

So what to do when you know you need to share the gospel…
but the person is horrid and you don’t want to?
Sometimes you dream a dark a dream.


Be warned – it’s a little strange…
it’s fraught with meaning…
and I’m holding nothing back.

It began with blood.

Blood everywhere.

The air swirls with mist, and dark, and smoke and flame.

And there was the person with whom I have issues…
who needs the gospel more than anyone else I know…
who doesn’t deserve it…
who doesn’t want it…
who might treat it like he treated me.

and in the dream…

he is not quite human…
not animal, but not human…
more fur than hair, more paws then limbs, more four legs than two…

and he’s lamenting – howling over a puddle of blood…
the blood… innocent.

I can’t make out the words but I know the pain…
pain borne of second thoughts and regret and time running out…
pain of the spilled blood – spilled by his own hands…
pain long hidden, still hidden, but seeking escape…release.


Like a banshee screaming through the night his cries pierce the wind…
which howls nearly as loudly as him…
Through the wailing I make out the words…
“Why?” “How?” and “No!”

I know he needs help but my feet freeze.
To approach is to be at risk…
to draw near is to invite harm…
to ask for old wounds to be opened up…
and new ones created.

To aid him is to help a predator.

But my feet soon move anyway.

He barely pays attention to my movements.
I’m of no importance to him, neither is anything I have to say.

And his leg is caught in cold steel…

steel with jagged teeth.

Some of the blood it seems … is his.

Everything in me screams, “Don’t!” – but I begin to release his hind leg from the trap.
And as I do it springs shut on my hand – only his leg prevents it from further damage.

And now there’s more blood – mine.
And I think I never should have tried.
And I begin to turn, but can’t leave. I know I can’t leave.

I free the leg from the trap.

And I explain to him things of God, healing, saving, sacrifice, forgiveness – and yes…blood.

And the howls turn to tears…
and the tears turn to gratitude…
and the gratitude turns to calm.

And he is now more man – and less animal.

He prays for sin to be removed, and guilt, and sorrow.

His hands, long fingers with claws, his ears more like dog then human…they begin to change.
Blood still drips from his fingertips, but fangs become teeth, still. stained. red.


He stands erect now – no longer hunched…


This is just a dream…
a burden played out in sleepless sleep.

On the nights where sleep is worst I have long, detailed, vivid dreams…

it’s really one dream interrupted by waking then falling back to sleep…
where the dream remains to be built on and continued…

this was such a dream…

and tomorrow there’s more…

please come back.

{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }

Victoria Jenkins November 2, 2011 at 9:34 am

Someone loves teasers and cliffhangers. See you tomorrow, God willing.


Craig November 2, 2011 at 10:19 am

well, yes – I do heart cliffhangers. But there are two reasons for the cliffhangers: this post, for instance, took three hours to write, and edit, and layout, and find just the the right pictures for. There are only so many hours in the day with two blogs, and a post each day on each blog – second is that you only have so many hours a day to read – so I try not to keep you too long. God bless you, Victoria. See you tomorrow – God willing ツ


Dawn November 2, 2011 at 9:58 am

Dear Craig,

Oh my goodness, this really reminds me of my high school years. I used to have such horrible nightmares and they would repeat themselves on different nights and they would be continuous throughout the night (like episodes). I hated them, but when I would write them up as short stories for English class, I’d get an A. I bet the teacher was surprised at them. They were my alter ego, wooaaaaa!

I’m sorry you have these, Craig. I will pray they go away. It’s no wonder you have trouble sleeping. Some medications cause nightmares. Could this be so with you?

At the throne of grace,

PS I don’t have nightmares anymore. There is hope.


Craig November 2, 2011 at 10:25 am

Dawn, not to worry – the real-life struggle that’s reflected in this dream is far more scary than the dream. The dream actually wasn’t scary at all – it was me talking to me in my sleep – or non-sleep. So it’s not so much a nightmare – just a dream – a dream telling me something. I think – a bunch of some things. so don’t be worried about me having nightmares – actually the dreams are really entertaining when there like this – not all scary and dark – I don’t have dreams like this normally – but dreams like this are really epic and so full of detail because I keep weaving in and out of sleep and improving the dream and adding the details – not on purpose – the brain does what it does. The bad thing is that when I have dreams like this – not scary – but long and detailed – it means it was a night of impossibly horrible sleep where I woke up 20 to 30 times in a 6 hour stretch. It’s just my thorn – it is what it is. Thank you for being worried – but don’t be so worried. God bless you Dawn.


A. November 2, 2011 at 12:46 pm

Your dream and the person you may be referring to remind me of the statement that hurt people hurt people. The challenge is that sometimes they are hurting too badly to be willing to accept the help of another (with gospel message, etc.) And doubtless they may even have a touch of pride that makes it even more difficult for them to receive true help and wisdom.

I have tried, on a couple of occasions, to imagine Hitler as a small, hurting child, as I have wondered how he became the person he was. Small foxes spoil the vine. Little habits (of fear, avoidance of pain,e tc.) over time become our character. You are giving me a lot to think about here as I have at least one person I know like the one in your dream, and several others that similarly need help in that kind of way. And am I willing to say or do anything to bring them the message of hope, and if so, what should it look like, or be like or how should it be communicated. I have to remind myself, as a friend of mine said, that I am not those people’s Holy Spirit. That is, I don’t have to convict them of anything, I simply need to reflect the Father’s love for them in word/deed, depending on the circumstance.


Craig November 2, 2011 at 4:08 pm

A. I can fill in all the blanks between the spaces of each of your words. I get it. And we are nobody’s Holy Spirit – so true. I think what I’m ending up with here in my hashing out of sharing the gospel with you guys – not sharing the gospel WITH you guys – because you already know it – but sharing the gospel with you guys – meaning hashing it out – I’m a writer, can you tell? ツ anyway, the thing is – to love first – then to ask all the questions – then the letter. I think that will be my favored approach for people I love – or even all those I have that much time with. I’ll still get back to the elevator pitch for others though ツ God bless you A.


Shannom November 2, 2011 at 1:14 pm

Vivid and beautiful!


Craig November 2, 2011 at 4:10 pm

funny, as I wrote it I thought “vivid” – the pictures made it “beautiful” – and though the dream wasn’t scary at all – when I read it after I posted it – with the words and the pictures – I got a little spooked! Anyway, thank you – thank you very much – and God bless you.


Martha Orlando November 2, 2011 at 2:04 pm

What an amazingly detailed dream that was! And, such a powerful message through it all. Looking forward to the next installment.

Blessings, Craig!


Craig November 2, 2011 at 4:11 pm

the dream gets stranger. Martha – and the message gets a little conflicted – I may need some help sorting it out when it’s all over – so stay tuned. God bless you. Martha! And thank you.


Michelle November 3, 2011 at 5:16 am

Oh my. There is so much in the imagery. So much to ponder in my own life.


Craig November 3, 2011 at 1:15 pm

as I dreamt it, it didn’t seem so weird – but I knew it was important – and I grabbed a recorder – and I recorded it. This writing of it – interesting. And the reading of it – I’m surprised it came out of my head. A little Stephen King-ish, but with a biblical message. Anyway, thank you Michelle, and God bless you!


Debbie November 4, 2011 at 11:00 pm

Great writing Craig! Dreams can be hard to convey. At least mine are. They make perfect sense while I’m having them, but not so much afterward. But you did a wonderful job and I have to keep reading to see how it turns out. God bless you!


Craig November 5, 2011 at 7:02 am

well, part of this is that it wasn’t just a dream – it comes from the sleep thing – it’s so vivid because it came on one of those nights when I woke up 20 to 25 to 30 times during a six-hour period. And by doing that you get into a dream – then come out of it for a moment as your body kicks you out of sleep – and then go back in and rearrange it, and give it more substance – not on purpose – and it’s not a good thing – not for life – but it does make for really epic dreams. This one would be gone like a mist except I got up from bed and recorded the thoughts. And then of course – the writer in me get’s to play with the words – and add the emotions and the color. Thank you as always. Debbie, and God bless you!


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